Jarvis Writes Some Don Lemon Indictment Fan Fiction, and It's Too Easy to Believe

On Friday night, our own Aaron Walker did one of his patented legal deep dives into the indictment against podcaster Don Lemon and a handful of other defendants. In his post, Walker looked at several of the "overt acts" in which Lemon participated. For example, Overt Act No. 4 claims that Lemon was provided instruction on how the Cities Church disruption was going to be conducted by the protest organizers.

Twitchy favorite Jarvis indulged in some fan fiction and altered Overt Act No. 16 to sound like something totally believable.

This is madness. pic.twitter.com/a2MckWzPj8
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) January 30, 2026

In case that's difficult to read, here it is:

Overt Act #16: While inside the Church, defendant LUNDY stood with other agitators in and around the main aisles in the Church to intimidate the Church members and obstruct and interfere with their freedom of movement. Defendant LEMON approached an elderly woman, shoved a phone into her face, and yelled "You got LEMONED you old bat!" Defendant LEMON then located a broom in the janitorial closet and put it between his legs and started prancing up and down the aisles, singing "You got Lemoned! You got Lemoned! Lemoned Lemoned you got Lemoned!" before eventually tripping and taking a header into the baptismal. Defendant LEMON emerged and appeared to be crying and pointed at Victim 7 and yelled "she pushed me!"

Hilarious.

I wish this were true. But I doubt it.
— Paul David Bauer (@pbauer1959) January 31, 2026

pic.twitter.com/IKypKxqq47
— jimtreacher.substack.com (@jtLOL) January 30, 2026

Submit this as a writing sample to the US attorney's office when you apply. The broom was a nice touch.
— SquishJD (@SquishJD) January 30, 2026

💀💀💀💀
— Kaia (@Kaia__Sol) January 31, 2026

I got halfway into this before realizing it was a joke. Please put me on the Lemon jury. Promise I'll be impartial.
— Pat Hingle's Dog (@SilentUser123) January 31, 2026