José Canseco offers the cure for Major League Baseball's woes: Cansecocare™

@JoseCanseco amen brother! #nomoremoobies

— Ryan Cook (@Cookieswaqq) September 26, 2013

With House Republicans and Senate Democrats refusing to budge on the Affordable Care Act, it looks like it will take José Canseco to present a third way. Introducing Cansecocare™.

There’s bound to be a civil rights lawsuit over the ban on man boobs, though we don’t dare imagine what kind of costumes activists will come up with for those protest marches.

Even in José Canseco’s world, there’s no Step 1 without a Step 2 (or more). Here’s the shocker: Cansecocare sounds pretty good.

CansecoCare 2: Use imminent domain and seize all teams from owner and give to cities. Profits to local youth sports.

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 26, 2013

CansecoCare 3: Get rid of DH.

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 26, 2013

CansecoCare 3: Juice the ball.

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 26, 2013

CansecoCare 4: All umpires must be ex players

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 26, 2013

Cansecocare 5. Move mlb offices to Las Vegas.

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 26, 2013

Cansecocare 6. Limit mlb players to 100% humans

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 26, 2013

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Finally, someone had the guts to say it. No more cyborgs or shaved primates.

Camsecocare7 Kids U12 get into all games free

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 26, 2013

Cansecocare8. No penalties for fighiting if it is only two guys

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 26, 2013

Camseco care 9. No extra innings home run derby settles ties

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 26, 2013

Could it get any better? You have no idea how much better.

Cansecocare 10. VHS demolition night at astrodome before it's torn down.

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) September 26, 2013