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Sen. Rand Paul releases his 2020 Festivus Report about paying to run lizards on treadmills and more

As Twitchy reported Monday, Americans were getting $600 each from the coronavirus stimulus bill while no less than $10 million was going to “gender programs” in Pakistan. Sen. Lindsey Graham defended those programs, telling Fox News Tuesday morning that he’s trying to make life better for women there.

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Speaking of government waste, Sen. Rand Paul posted a righteous Festivus rant last Christmas, and he’s back to do it again with his 2020 Festivus Report.

Among Paul’s Festivus Top 10:

  • NIH paid to find out if hot tubbing can lower stress
  • NIH paid researchers to develop methods to stop grown adults from binge-watching television
  • NSF ran lizards on a treadmill
  • NIH paid researchers to interview San Franciscans about how they use edible cannabis
  • DOD lost more than 100 drones over Afghanistan
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Researchers also used federal funds from grants worth $1,327,781.72 to see if you’ll eat ground-up bugs.

But why did the researchers think this research was necessary? The researchers believed “the current pressures on global food security, including climate change … have ignited a search for more environmentally sustainable protein sources.” Got to find a protein substitute when the Green New Deal environmentalists kill all the farting cows!

…

That’s right, the participants did not know when they were eating crickets. Therefore, the question of “will people knowingly eat cricket powder?” remains unanswered, despite that being a fundamental question underlying the worth of the study as a whole. If people can eat crickets, that doesn’t answer the question of whether they will choose to or not.

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The entire report can be found here.


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