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Americans Will Be So Triggered When the Whole Planet Cheers Every Goal Against Them at the World Cup

The first match of the 2026 FIFA World Cup kicks off on Thursday. This is the first time the tournament has been co-hosted by three countries: Canada, Mexico, and the United States.

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We don't know who Jack D is, but we surmise from the teams he supports in his X bio that he's from the U.K. He's eagerly anticipating Americans getting triggered when the whole planet cheers when a goal is scored against the U.S. Men's National Team.

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The only soccer player we know by name is Megan Rapinoe, and that's because she's an American-hating loser.

You spark a lot of envy when you're the most powerful nation in the world. We won't be watching, but good luck to the men's team.

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