The first match of the 2026 FIFA World Cup kicks off on Thursday. This is the first time the tournament has been co-hosted by three countries: Canada, Mexico, and the United States.

We don't know who Jack D is, but we surmise from the teams he supports in his X bio that he's from the U.K. He's eagerly anticipating Americans getting triggered when the whole planet cheers when a goal is scored against the U.S. Men's National Team.

The only soccer player we know by name is Megan Rapinoe, and that's because she's an American-hating loser.

You spark a lot of envy when you're the most powerful nation in the world. We won't be watching, but good luck to the men's team.

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