The 2020 presidential election doesn’t even feel like a real thing anymore. Joe Biden’s locked down in his bunker and reading from notes in his home TV studio whenever he gets the chance. We’d heard rumors he has a podcast too, but we’ve never heard a thing about it since.

That doesn’t mean the mainstream media isn’t still pulling for Biden, and the New York Times’ Thomas Friedman has just the trick to put Biden over the top in November: He’s assembled a bipartisan (meaning Mitt Romney’s included) “unity cabinet” for Biden. Mike Bloomberg will be Treasury secretary, the late Merrick Garland will serve as attorney general, Al Gore will be pulled out of cryogenic sleep to serve as EPA administrator, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will be our ambassador to the U.N., which is already flooded with anti-Semites.

“A fantasy, you say?” Friedman writes. “No, no. I’ll give you fantasy. Fantasy is thinking we’ll be OK, post-Covid-19, with toxic politics as usual or, God forbid, four more years of Trump’s lying, dividing and impugning experts.”

Didn’t she win a ribbon at a science fair? Maybe her talents are wasted at the U.N. Make her put that economics degree to work as Treasury secretary.

You’d think Merrick Garland alone would ensure a vote from every Democrat — they can’t let go.