Not even Michael Bloomberg seems to know why he’s in the 2020 race for president, except to burn a whole lot of money on TV commercials. He’s a bit of a blessing to Republicans, though, as he offers a “moderate” (i.e., capitalist) alternative to Joe Biden and will hopefully suck votes away from more viable candidates with his non-stop advertising.

Don’t try to tell Bloomberg he should drop out, though, because he’s been an American longer than Pete Buttigieg, and he’s been an American even longer than Joe Biden — they’re both 77, but Bloomberg was born in February, and Biden was born in November, so Bloomberg has a slight edge when it comes to being an old white man.

That was even dumber than something Biden would say.

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