We keep saying it, but what is going on over in the U.K.? They’ve banned guns, and knife crime is through the roof. The solution? Put “knife amnesty bins” around London and expect people to turn over any cutlery — even though it turns out those knife disposal bins are attractive targets for criminals.

With knife crime taken care of, London’s mayor has turned his attention to more pressing matters — like bringing attention to the gender imbalance at user-edited Wikipedia, where the vast number of volunteer editors are men.

So now what are they up to over there? According to HuffPost UK, it turns out Piers Morgan will not face an investigation by the U.K. Office of Communications (Ofcom) for saying during a televised debate that he identifies as a penguin, even though the comment produced 950 complaints.

HuffPost UK reports:

Piers made the remark during an on-air debate in response to a BBC film that said there are more than 100 genders.

Referencing a story about a baby penguin at London Aquarium being raised gender-neutral by a lesbian penguin couple, he said on the ITV breakfast show: “I’m going to say that now I am identifying as a penguin and I demand to be allowed into the penguin enclosure at the aquarium and live with the penguins.”

So we’re still not clear … investigated for what?

Morgan himself pitched in with an alternative headline:

Note the avatar of Morgan’s head on a penguin’s body for good measure. If the guy could just understand that our Second Amendment supports our First Amendment, he’d be all right.