Jimmy Kimmel writer Bess Kalb has already posted a few hot takes on Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, such as this one:
Kavanaugh will immediately make half the population sub-human baby vessels and then put limitations on both love and clean air but other than that I’m doing great.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) September 8, 2018
We doubt Kavanaugh wants to do any of those things, but even if he did, how could one Supreme Court justice of nine “immediately” reverse Roe v. Wade and outlaw same-sex marriage? We’re pretty sure that’s not how it works.
But now that Kavanaugh has been accused by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford of pinning her to a bed while a friend watched, Kalb is working the new material into her act, although it seems to suggest Kavanaugh will be confirmed:
A few more months until Brett Kavanaugh and his friends get to hold 100 million women down and take away their agency over their bodies.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) September 17, 2018
Teacher: Can anyone define "hyperbole" for me?…yes, Johnny?
Johnny: Hyperbole is an exaggerated statement not meant to be taken seriously.
Teacher: Very good, Johnny….now can you give me an example?
Johnny: Yes, this chick's tweet 👇 https://t.co/bpmzwexqYl
— Kevin Corrigan (@kcluva) September 18, 2018
— justturnright (@justturnright) September 18, 2018
Yep. The appeals process is so easy and fast that every abortion/woman’s health law will be reversed in a few months.
God people like Bess are completely stupid and hysterical. Not a good combo. https://t.co/cMN69p3BlJ
— Chris G (@ChrisGeeTwo) September 18, 2018
It would be lovely if any of the people saying this had the slightest clue as to how SCOTUS operates https://t.co/7UoFPs93R4
— alexandriabrown (@alexthechick) September 18, 2018
Anyone who actively believes this claim has the IQ of lint. https://t.co/NMWrl4ZbGF
— 🍁 Dr. Jessquire 🍂 (@LadyJessMacBeth) September 18, 2018
The dumbest thing you’ll read on the internet today. https://t.co/JweLqwluVE
— Fiscal Therapist (@BigLifeMark) September 18, 2018
— Jim Treacher (@jtLOL) September 18, 2018
Imagine thinking this. https://t.co/fxwfCgtwb6
— Kaitlin (@thefactualprep) September 18, 2018
She seems completely rational. https://t.co/r28eJk6trb
— JWF (@JammieWF) September 18, 2018
Told ya. This is the fear that Democrats will use for the next 50 days. https://t.co/5iUkzrYaF3
— GayPatriot™️ (@GayPatriot) September 18, 2018
Wow liberals, you have become a sickness of deceit. https://t.co/ECxKiIGuMC
— Mike H. II (@DogTrainingU) September 18, 2018
The word of the day “hysteria.” https://t.co/YY4oiliavt
— Cynthia Heath (@CynthiaCHeath) September 18, 2018
Remember back in 2012 when people on social media were convinced Mitt Romney was going to ban tampons if he were elected? “Someone please shoot the guy,” was among the responses, along with threats by women to “bleed on his face.”
That’s not how any of this works.
Someone pass Bess the smelling salts. https://t.co/oLrlOMAhwC
— Dead Agent (@Recursion_Agent) September 18, 2018
— DeplorableMizAmerica (@MizAmerica3) September 18, 2018
Is there anything Brett Kavanaugh can not do? https://t.co/lxeaX26nOk
— Cardinal Credibly Accused (@Gimblin) September 18, 2018
— Sean Agnew (@seanagnew) September 18, 2018
You should get your robe from Amazon while you’re still allowed to order things online https://t.co/oF45Nwieqa
— Mujahed (@kebejay) September 18, 2018
Why Jimmy Kimmel's so funny. https://t.co/CyqdWkF9km
— Anthony Bialy (@AnthonyBialy) September 18, 2018
Chris Hayes and Matthew Dowd battle it out for dumbest take yet on Brett Kavanaugh https://t.co/6XI0sgxdCQ
— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) September 18, 2018