FREEDOM! John Bolton's mustache is one American institution that isn't going anywhere

Brett T. | 4:37 PM on December 22, 2016

As Twitchy reported Wednesday, journalists and political pundits quickly zeroed in on two short paragraphs from a Washington Post article on President-elect Donald Trump’s cabinet and adviser picks, whom he reportedly expects to be telegenic and to “present themselves very well” for the role they’re expected to fill.

James “Mad Dog” Mattis seems to be as wild as the Trump administration is willing to get; therefore, the story goes, possible secretary of state pick John Bolton was broomed over his mustache, which unnamed sources said possibly handicapped the former ambassador.

As rumors always do, this one has made it back to Bolton himself, who says the ‘stache stays.

I appreciate the grooming advice from the totally unbiased mainstream media, but I will not be shaving my #mustache.

— John Bolton (@AmbJohnBolton) December 22, 2016

https://twitter.com/GayPatriot/status/812041338673909760

nor should you!!!!!

— (((Jay Lampert))) (@MortChristenson) December 22, 2016

https://twitter.com/dave_usmc/status/812043168132820992

damn hippie!

— Roland Scahill (@rolandscahill) December 22, 2016

Maybe it was all a test to see if Bolton would buckle and shave, or stand strong for personal freedom.

.@AmbJohnBolton Wasn't it Donald Trump who wouldn't hire you because of it?
I don't think any media forced that decision. It's all his.

— Helen Noble (@BoobPunchTina) December 22, 2016

Eh … that’s the story that finally made it around social media, but again, that was the work of professional reporters employing shorthand liberally, no pun intended. “Donald was not going to like that mustache,” said one unnamed source who asked for anonymity, so yeah, that’s entirely why Trump passed.