In that Esquire piece, Wolf Blitzer reports that CNN has an excellent coffee machine that makes Starbucks

As Twitchy reported earlier, CNN’s PR department sent out a link to a piece in Esquire described as “an oral history of how CNN journalists survived election 2020.” Tweeters agreed once again that CNN’s staff were stunning and brave and reminiscent of the heroes who stormed the beach at Normandy.

Steve Krakauer, executive producer of The Megyn Kelly Show podcast and formerly of CNN, excerpted a few paragraphs from the piece detailing the level of coffee and Diet Coke consumption.

Hey, does anybody else remember when CNN did a piece on President Trump and his Diet Coke consumption? We do:

? ? ? ?? ? ? ?? ? ? ?

President Trump reportedly drinks 12 Diet Cokes each day. What exactly does that do to his body? https://t.co/1NlfwW9uED https://t.co/iYRNRa45zo

— CNN (@CNN) December 11, 2017

Maybe we should ask what all those Diet Cokes did to Gloria Borger’s body:

Is this oral history of CNN hosts having to drink lots of coffee and sleep a little less from Esquire or The Onion?https://t.co/a4w8eLkgU6 pic.twitter.com/9aSYYuPUTu

— Steve Krakauer (@SteveKrak) November 16, 2020

Since that’s probably too small to read:

Tapper: The caffeine strategy was I needed coffee all the time, always. I was getting a new coffee every half hour.

Gloria Borger, chief political analyst: I drank a pint of coffee every morning and all during the day. Then I switched to Diet Cokes in the afternoon.

Blitzer: I was hoping somebody would go to Starbucks. We do have an excellent coffee machine that makes Starbucks black coffee, and you put some milk in it with one Splenda, and it may not be a Venti Skim Latte, but it’s very good.

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We don’t know how to break it to you, but this is going to be journalism for the next four years under President Joe Biden. And if that weren’t enough, Barack Obama just posted a playlist to go with the release of Volume 1 of his memoir, just like old times.

My favorite line: "They sent us home around 3 or 4 in the morning. We had drivers."

— Mollie (@MZHemingway) November 16, 2020

I took the subway at 4:30 a.m. after every 12 hr bartending shift for twelve years.

Those poor souls.

— Stagger Leigh (@LeighStagger) November 16, 2020

This is a literal dispatch from the frontlines:

“I was hoping somebody would go to Starbucks. We do have an excellent coffee machine that makes Starbucks black coffee, and you put some milk in it with one Splenda, and it may not be a Venti Skim Latte, but it's very good.”

— Geoffrey Ingersoll (@GPIngersoll) November 17, 2020

Wolf Blitzer asking if someone could go to Starbucks for him belongs next to the firefighters of 9/11. https://t.co/W7wizgE2LU

— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) November 16, 2020

Just like it was in the trenches in 1917…..

— Les Johnson (@LesJohnsonHrvat) November 16, 2020

Stunning and brave

— Steve (@Steve_Stuck) November 16, 2020

Profiles of courage

— Nick L. (@therealnick2) November 16, 2020

HE HAD TO DO HIS OWN MAKEUP!!!

— Roger247 (@247_roger) November 16, 2020

Maybe Gloria Borger’s Diet Coke jones explains the network’s fixation on Donald Trump’s soft drink intake? https://t.co/rDj6JdjbuA

— Ben Johnson (@TheRightsWriter) November 17, 2020

The resolve @CNN hosts show during this whole election is truly inspiring. I hope to have the strength one day to order my intern to go to Starbucks and pick up coffee too. Thank you @wolfblitzer for your service.

— Alonzo Thompson (@AlonzoT15018458) November 16, 2020

Fucking pampered multi-millionaires whining about "working"

How can anyone be THAT self-unaware? https://t.co/OUl9SUA5eg

— Fusilli Spock (@awstar11) November 16, 2020

These people are the absolute worst of the worst. Can we please ship them all off to a remote island in the Arctic?

— RELEASE THE KRAKEN (@SparrowsCollide) November 16, 2020

However low of an opinion you have of the preening douchebags at CNN….it's not low enough. https://t.co/QTUxIMfk2D

— J.J. by the Bay (@flagg_colonel) November 17, 2020

This is the written version of Jeffrey Toobin on a Zoom call.

— Bill De Blasio Stan Account (@GroundhogJumped) November 17, 2020

What’s amazing is that they are now fully letting us know how truly biased they were…the whole entire time.

— M.A. Pennington Sr. (@callmedrlike) November 16, 2020

Again, this is what we’re going to get for at least four years.

Related:

‘Stunning and brave’! Who’s up for an ‘oral history of how CNN journalists survived election 2020’? https://t.co/QMCxUDLAWy

— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) November 16, 2020