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The Season of Giving Is Upon Us and the Greatest Gift I Ever Gave Myself Was More Time With My Mom

Meme

Thanksgiving is almost here and the last part of that word is GIVING. I want to share with you the best gift I ever gave myself. I am sharing it today because tomorrow is November 18th. It is a very special day for me. It is the day I gave myself the best gift anyone could give. I gave myself the gift of time. 

November 18, 2010, at approximately 11:30 am I was lying on a hospital bed beside my Mom. She held my hand as she was lying in her bed and said 'Are you scared? I might be a little scared.' I answered: 'I have never felt more at peace in my life. I love you.' After that, the Doctors put masks on us and told us to count to 10 and I woke up several hours later. 

That was the day I gave my Mom my kidney. She had kidney failure due to diabetes. People tell me it was such a nice thing to do for her. Yes, but I did it because I wanted to have more time with my mother so it was not all selfless, there was a touch of selfishness there too. Of course, it was a gift to her, and she appreciated it, but it was also the best gift I ever gave myself. My kidney gave my mother 9 more years with us. She passed away in 2019 due to complications from diabetes.

I have never regretted that decision. Not a single time. Not when my single kidney did not want to take up the work of both of them and kept me in the hospital for a few extra days. Not even if she got mad at me. That gift was for my whole family. My Mom got to see me and my sibling's children grow up, she got to meet my oldest daughter's boyfriend who is now her fiance. She got to see many of her grandchildren graduate. We all got 9 years of game nights, 9 years of her laughter that spread joy wherever it could be heard. 9 years of talking about nothing, 9 years of sharing all my hopes and dreams as well as my sadness and hardships. 9 years of my mother was worth a week of discomfort. I would do it all over again for 9 more years, even 9 more minutes. 

My Mom was a character. She made everyone love her. I shared a story about her on X recently and it says a lot about who she was. I have many more, but this one will give you an idea about her funny side. We might tell you the story about her telling the Police to shut up on another day. 

Sorry to Chris HEMsworth for the extra 'L' there, but you get the point. My Mom was amazing. I miss her daily BUT by giving her my kidney I gave myself SO MUCH more. It gave us time. When she passed there were no regrets, there was nothing unsaid. We were not expecting her to pass, it was a surprise even though she did fight a lot of complications that year but we all used the best of that time. It helped me to be more deliberate in my actions. I try to make amends in relationships when possible because losing her was the hardest thing I have ever experienced and I can not imagine losing someone I love and adding regret or shame on top of the sorrow. 

I am sharing this story because NOVEMBER 18th is our 'Kidneyversary'. It is tomorrow and it is important to me. By sharing this important day with you, I hope to give you a gift. As you all go to celebrate and eat your turkey take time to hug your family. If you have your Mom with you, tell her how much you love her. If you have a friendship or a relationship with a family member that you can heal, do it. Tell the people you love they are important. Don't take anything for granted.  

I gave you this story so that you can give yourself the gift of no regrets.

Happy Kindneyversary to my Mom in Heaven tomorrow. I love you. ALWAYS. 


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