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Have You Tried Making Good Movies? Theater's Plan for Getting Customers Back Is a Box Office Bomb

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If there's a surefire way to make sure this writer -- who, according to her Letterboxd app, has watched 54 films this year alone -- never sets foot inside a theater again, some of the suggestions on this list will do it.

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Movie theaters are struggling in a post-COVID lockdown (thanks, politicians!), woke Hollywood world where streaming services are ubiquitous.

So they're trying to come up with ways to entice viewers back into the seats:

More from The New York Pos(emphasis added):

They want butts in seats.

Years after the pandemic forced movie theaters across the country to close down — sending everyone home to their streaming devices — cinema chains are struggling to figure out how to bring audiences back.

And they’re looking at everything — from lifting strict anti-phone policies to raucous sing-alongs.

'We need to find a way to get people back into the habit of going to theaters,' John Fithian, co-founder of consulting firm The Fithian Group, told Variety. 'You can’t stay stuck in a 100-year-old way of doing business — that’s not going to work anymore.'

No, no, no, no, no.

This will actually hasten the demise of movie theaters. 

A couple of years ago, this writer saw 'Godzilla Minus One' in the theater and a woman kept pulling out her phone whenever the titular monster wasn't on the screen. Which was distracting in a movie where the dialogue is in Japanese and you have to read subtitles.

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(Aside, 'Godzilla Minus One' is a great movie worth a watch).

Correct.

It's not that the '100-year-old way of doing business' doesn't work anymore, it's that there are too few good movies and too many disruptive viewers.

This is a common refrain.

Theaters could also buy and play classic movies -- imagine the killing they'd make if they played the 1937 animated 'Snow White' instead of the 'reimagined' trainwreck.

This writer also saw 'Interstellar' on its iMax re-release a few months ago. Theater was packed.

Or sing-alongs. Or weed policies. Or lax phone policies.

Exactly. And start casting celebrities who don't openly hate half the movie-going population.

Looking at you, Disney and Rachel Zegler.

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BINGO.

You had to wait months, if not upwards of a year, for a movie to go to video.

Streaming is a big problem here, and if theatres don't demand longer periods before a movie drops on streaming, they will go out of business.

So would a lot of other people.

Worth a shot.

Editor's Note: President Trump is leading America into the "Golden Age" as Democrats try desperately to stop it.  

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