Jessica Tarlov PRAISES AOC for Moronic Attacks on Billionaires, Trips SPECTACULARLY Over H...
Thomas Massie Accused Me of Getting PAID to Disagree With Him and All...
DAMNING, Receipt-Filled Thread About VA State Sen. Louise Lucas' CRIMINAL Business Partner...
REEE! COPE-pocalypse CONTINUES! Dems Come Up With New (and Even DUMBER) Ideas After...
People Think This Photo of Justin Pearson Standing Up to the KKK Should...
Judge Rules DOGE ‘Blatantly Used’ Race and Sex in Mass Termination of Federal...
Ted Cruz Grades AOC's History Paper on Who the American Revolution Was Fought...
Woman Who Refused to Work With Prosecutors Didn’t Want to Send Another Black...
Brian Tyler Cohen: ABC Suing President Trump Over FCC Probe Into The View
Mehdi Hasan: AOC’s Superpower in 2028 Is Convincing Republicans She’s Dumb and Extreme
PBS, CBS News: Frontier Airlines Jet Hits ‘Pedestrian’ on Runway
'Congratulashuns, Garduites!' Jay Jones REALLY Should Have Stayed Off X a Day After...
Excellent Creative Thinker Knows How to Overturn the VA Redistricting Decision
Wajahat Ali Thinks Spanberger Should ‘Pull a Desantis’ and 'Ram Through the Map'
Bad Err Day: Virginia Dems’ Rushed SCOTUS Redistricting Ruling Appeal Features Misspelled...

Have You Tried Making Good Movies? Theater's Plan for Getting Customers Back Is a Box Office Bomb

imgflip

If there's a surefire way to make sure this writer -- who, according to her Letterboxd app, has watched 54 films this year alone -- never sets foot inside a theater again, some of the suggestions on this list will do it.

Advertisement

Movie theaters are struggling in a post-COVID lockdown (thanks, politicians!), woke Hollywood world where streaming services are ubiquitous.

So they're trying to come up with ways to entice viewers back into the seats:

More from The New York Pos(emphasis added):

They want butts in seats.

Years after the pandemic forced movie theaters across the country to close down — sending everyone home to their streaming devices — cinema chains are struggling to figure out how to bring audiences back.

And they’re looking at everything — from lifting strict anti-phone policies to raucous sing-alongs.

'We need to find a way to get people back into the habit of going to theaters,' John Fithian, co-founder of consulting firm The Fithian Group, told Variety. 'You can’t stay stuck in a 100-year-old way of doing business — that’s not going to work anymore.'

No, no, no, no, no.

This will actually hasten the demise of movie theaters. 

A couple of years ago, this writer saw 'Godzilla Minus One' in the theater and a woman kept pulling out her phone whenever the titular monster wasn't on the screen. Which was distracting in a movie where the dialogue is in Japanese and you have to read subtitles.

Advertisement

(Aside, 'Godzilla Minus One' is a great movie worth a watch).

Correct.

It's not that the '100-year-old way of doing business' doesn't work anymore, it's that there are too few good movies and too many disruptive viewers.

This is a common refrain.

Theaters could also buy and play classic movies -- imagine the killing they'd make if they played the 1937 animated 'Snow White' instead of the 'reimagined' trainwreck.

This writer also saw 'Interstellar' on its iMax re-release a few months ago. Theater was packed.

Or sing-alongs. Or weed policies. Or lax phone policies.

Exactly. And start casting celebrities who don't openly hate half the movie-going population.

Looking at you, Disney and Rachel Zegler.

Advertisement

BINGO.

You had to wait months, if not upwards of a year, for a movie to go to video.

Streaming is a big problem here, and if theatres don't demand longer periods before a movie drops on streaming, they will go out of business.

So would a lot of other people.

Worth a shot.

Editor's Note: President Trump is leading America into the "Golden Age" as Democrats try desperately to stop it.  

Help us continue reporting on President Trump's success. Join Twitchy VIP and use promo code FIGHT to get 60% off your membership.

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement