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CLUCKING CRAZY: Privacy Invading British Government Requires Citizens to Begin Registering Chickens

AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall

There are politicians who believe, earnestly, that there isn't an aspect of your life they shouldn't have control over or knowledge of. We're kind of surprised some governmental body hasn't demanded reporting on how frequently we use the bathroom under the guise of 'water conservation' or 'public health awareness', but we're sure it's coming.

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And these policies always take the place of addressing actual issues -- like crime, the economy, or immigration -- because it's much easier to crack down on the already law abiding than it is to go after the outlaws or complex issues.

A prime example of this: In the UK, starting on Tuesday, citizens will be required to register 'kept birds' with the government or face fines. Even one chicken.

Given how ruthlessly authorities enforce hate speech laws versus laws against rape, they'll probably crack down on the clandestine fowl keepers hard.

The Telegraph reports:

Let me take an example whose sheer triviality is telling. I have before me the new “Kept Bird Registration Form – Keeper of less [shouldn’t it be ‘fewer’?] than 50 Poultry or Other Captive Birds”. This four-page document insists that you give the address of where the birds are kept, their “Country Parish Holding (CPH) number”, map references, your own details and the number of birds, their species, such as chickens, ducks, ostriches, psittacines and cassowaries, and the purposes for which you keep them, eg. releasing for racing, display, “growing pullets up to point of lay”. Even if you have but one solitary hen, “you are breaking the law if you do not register”, which you must do by Tuesday. 

It is argued that registration is made necessary by recent bird flu. Serious though bird flu has recently been, it seems reasonable to believe that this extension of the criminal law is excessive, and more than reasonable to believe that, in a country where goodness knows how many people keep a few chickens, ducks or geese, enforcement will be preposterously expensive.

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This is what government does best: pass asinine laws that are insanely expensive and difficult to enforce.

They can't discriminate against that culture. That would be racist, or something.

Having a list of people who have chickens -- and therefore eggs and meat -- sure seems like setting the stage for confiscation of those things down the road, no?

It will qualify for asylum and public benefits.

From 'keep calm and carry on' to 'register your chickens' in a few generations.

You sure do.

'We see you have six chickens. Your neighbor has two. We are confiscating your chickens in the name of equity.'

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Civil disobedience.

Become ungovernable.

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