Jared Doerfler has two sisters who he loves very much, and he'd like them to not be single next Christmas.
So what better way to broading the potential brother-in-law pool than to post on Twitter/X and see what happens?
I have two sisters. They are both single.
— Jared Doerfler (@DoerflerJared) December 21, 2023
Another Holiday is approaching with no brother-in-laws in sight.
We need to change that.
The girl on the far left is my wife - she’s not looking for a boyfriend (at least I don’t think so).
32 Year Old Sister - far right.
•… pic.twitter.com/RID467r7Vt
The tweet with the deets continues:
32 Year Old Sister - far right.
• Iowa State graduate
• Iowa MBA • Lives in Iowa
• No kids
• One dog (dog is annoying)
• Works in Finance
• Is smarter than 99% of Fintwit
• Can value a company in her sleep
• Can be stubborn
30 Year Old Sister - Middle left.
• Iowa State graduate
• Lives in S. Florida
• One kid
• One dog (good dog)
• Works in apparel
• World class fashion designer
• Can have hippie tendencies
If interested - apply in replies.
Bonus if you:
• Like to play golf
• Like to ski
• Like college football
• Like staying up late sipping on Tequila debating if EBITDA is a legit measurable
Sounds like a pair of very accomplished women.
His sisters are on board with this, by the way:
Sisters have a sense of humor. Don’t worry. pic.twitter.com/vlRJ8gEO90
— Jared Doerfler (@DoerflerJared) December 21, 2023
A sense of humor is a big plus in any relationship.
32-year-old sister has asked for a Google Form to be linked. Outrageous.
— Jared Doerfler (@DoerflerJared) December 21, 2023
Although I am considering it since I am a one-man committee.
I'm waiting for the questions back.
I'd expect a question to be valuing a company based on DCF. Not EBITDA.
A Google form is a good way to screen potential matches.
Jared can't do this all on his own, after all.
Google Form link is below at the request of the sisters.
— Jared Doerfler (@DoerflerJared) December 21, 2023
My mom has gotten ahold of the tweet. She is howling.
My dad is not. But he hasn't laughed for decades - since senior year of college. So it's standard. https://t.co/wG4Lv8vOKr
This family sounds like an absolute blast and we'd love to spend Christmas with them.
The sisters now have access to the Google Form.
— Jared Doerfler (@DoerflerJared) December 21, 2023
Godspeed to everyone.
- The Committee
May the odds be ever in your favor, potential suitors.
30-year-old sister would like me to clarify her hippie tendencies.
— Jared Doerfler (@DoerflerJared) December 21, 2023
She eats wildly healthy - and uses products without chemicals.
We don't know if we'd define this as 'hippie tendencies', but thanks for clarifying.
The committee has received over 100 Google Form applications.
— Jared Doerfler (@DoerflerJared) December 21, 2023
The committee is going to put Tinder and Bumble out of business.
Launch the app ASAP.
If you look at the timestamps, only five hours lapsed between the initial tweet and the the 100 applications being received.
This is going very well.
The committee has granted my wife access to the Google Form.
— Jared Doerfler (@DoerflerJared) December 22, 2023
They need more eyeballs on it.
I have received a communique from my dad. He is not thrilled how I characterized him earlier.
I stand by my comments.
We are laughing so hard right now.
The committee has received over 1,300 Google Form applications.
— Jared Doerfler (@DoerflerJared) December 22, 2023
At the request of the sisters - the Google Form has been turned off.
The sisters will begin reviewing the applications.
1,300 applications in less than 24 hours.
Yeah, gotta cut that off at that point. They've got their work cut out for them.
The committee would like to thank everyone for playing along.
— Jared Doerfler (@DoerflerJared) December 22, 2023
The committee did not have the wherewithal to see this getting this big.
I love my sisters - they are awesome humans. They took all the good looks in the family, and they are smarter than me.
The 32-year-old has…
The tweet continues, in defense of the dog:
The 32-year-old has been getting a lot of heat about her dog. I want this on record. I am a dog guy. Always have been. If this dog was on a balance sheet, it would be a liability (my opinion). The dog and I don't see eye to eye. That said - she's mostly a good dog. She likes to jump on the table and eat my kid's food. The committee will be providing updates to see if anything comes of this.
One last thing - the committee would have put Florida State in over Texas.
The committee better provide us updates. We need to know what happens here.
The committee has made an amendment to our charter.
— Jared Doerfler (@DoerflerJared) December 22, 2023
My dad was diagnosed with MS 11 years ago. It’s a cause near and dear to our family.
I’m going to donate my next ad revenue payout from X to the MS Society.
And I’ve been getting random Venmo’s? I’ll either return it to…
So not only is he finding potential husbands for his sisters, he's donating to a good cause.
Jared is a stand up guy.
Sir I purchased a waterbed without financing and have a riverside time share in Pigeon Forge
— Three Year Letterman (@3YearLetterman) December 22, 2023
Well, this has to put him in the running. Pigeon Forge is lovely.
Well I have an annual pass to Dollywood and Ripley’s Believe it or Not. I also drive a fully loaded Taurus and am a youth football coaching legend and licensed notary public
— Three Year Letterman (@3YearLetterman) December 22, 2023
Fill out the Google form, sir.
I love that you're doing this! I hope it works out! Let's get these ladies some awesome husbands!!
— Mollie (@MZHemingway) December 22, 2023
It really is awesome.
I’m in tears. 😂😂 https://t.co/sTgmP2suQ5
— Queen Velvet (@TMIWITW) December 22, 2023
So are we. It's hilarious, and sweet.
I love this.
— Goo T. Gwaba (@GooGwaba) December 22, 2023
If only we could do this for all young women looking for a potential suitor that's... you know... normal? Dating apps are terrible. https://t.co/lTmfkU8vyc
Dating apps are terrible.
Dang! Both of my younger siblings are unattached! (*My brother, in particular, has had bad luck with his choices!) Why didn't I think of this??!!!😁 https://t.co/eh4k1Vj8Uy
— Stacy D (@StacyDmomof5) December 22, 2023
Well, now you know how to do it.
This is glorious - gotta read the replies https://t.co/jjAxXdpSdD
— Cheesetrader (@cheesetrader1) December 22, 2023
The really good stuff is always in the replies.
This is why I keep come to this hellsite. https://t.co/DjrzaUCbkC
— Zombie John Gotti 🚌 🐗 (@ZombieJohnGotti) December 22, 2023
Every once in a while, Twitter/X does something that makes sticking around worthwhile.
A Best of Twitter thread in the making. https://t.co/ckbsoN1ESG
— Shana Shivers (@ShiversShana) December 22, 2023
We plan to keep an eye on Jared as he posts updates. These things can take time, and we'll be here for it.
In the meantime, we hope this brought you, dear readers, a little bit of joy and laughter.
We wish you, and yours, the Merriest of Christmases.
***
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