CNN: Jack-O-Lanterns 'Big Cause' Of Climate Change

Is there anything that doesn't cause climate change?

Cars, meat, houses, pets, clothing, travel, and now: jack-o'-lanterns.

CNN warns: Jack-o'-lanterns are a 'big cause of climate change' and contain water that we 'never' get back https://t.co/xODuNMVCJK

— TheBlaze (@theblaze) November 9, 2023

The Blaze reports:

Mainstream media is looking to dampen the fun of one of the longest-lasting October traditions: carving and putting out jack-o'-lanterns for Halloween.

CNN warned about the dangerous effects on climate change that pumpkins — more specifically jack-o'-lanterns — can have due to their methane and water levels.

"More than 1 billion pounds of pumpkins are grown in the U.S. every year," the network's report began, before it warned that millions of pumpkins end up in landfills after Halloween.

The report leaned on commentary from Beverly Jaszczurowski, CEO of Scarce, an environmental group focused on recycling and reusing commercial products.

Pumpkins are organic, so we're not quite sure why ended up in landfills is a cause for alarm.

But our absolute favorite argument is this (emphasis added):

The CEO cautioned that since pumpkins are composed mostly of water, that water cannot be recouped when the pumpkin is thrown away.

"Pumpkins are about 90% water, and then that water gets trapped in the landfill and we never get it back," Jaszczurowski said.

Say what? 

Where do they think the water went to?

— Mr. Slaughter, MA, D&D (@neslaughter) November 9, 2023

It just disappeared.

Water in landfills NEVER seeps through the soil and back into the earth's water supply. All water that enters a landfill is trapped there forever, even rain water. That's why every landfill is completely flooded and accessible only by boat.

— FlyingKulau 🥥 (@FlyingKulau) November 9, 2023

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There you go, being all logical and stuff.

Do they not know how the water cycle works?

— Hurricane Logan (@redpillcanadian) November 10, 2023

Nope. It's painfully obvious they don't.

Gut feeling the attack on Christmas Trees 🎄 are next on the chopping board.

— Kagens Looking Glass ™ (@KagensNews) November 9, 2023

Bank on it.

Anything that brings anyone even an iota of joy is bad for the environment and must be banned.

Been a long while since I’ve read something this dumb https://t.co/ijMJA5o0SZ pic.twitter.com/8UyDgjA3CN

— Sweet Meteor O'Death (@smod4real) November 9, 2023

It really is spectacularly dumb, isn't it?

The law of conservation of mass "During any physical or chemical change, the total mass of the products remains equal to the total mass of the reactants."
The left: following the political science or something. https://t.co/masiWwKwW2

— 𝓙𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓼 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓐𝓻𝓴𝓪𝓷𝓼𝓪𝔀𝔂𝓮𝓻 (@Scotty_2017) November 9, 2023

You mean the self-proclaimed Party of Science doesn't understand actual science?

We're shocked.

Not.

You sure this isn't a Babylon Bee story? Water we never get back? If it decomposes in a lndfill, the water evaporates or it filters through the ground to the water table. https://t.co/UpXM41p6Iz

— Steve Kean 🏴‍☠️ (@dawgsmack) November 9, 2023

It sure reads like a Babylon Bee piece, but it's not.

This makes me want to make Jack-o’-lanterns out of season. I will find a way to make thanksgiving and Christmas versions https://t.co/lAfFrAAIog

— Tyler Teal (@thetteal) November 10, 2023

We could add Easter and Independence Day and really go all out.

I saved the guts. Cooked the pumpkin. Roasted the seeds.

The animals and birds in the backyard had a feast.

So my pumpkin water is now animal poo 🤷‍♀️ https://t.co/KOzMqGJo6o

— FAN12 (@legendof12thman) November 9, 2023

Don't let Beverly know. She'll get the vapors.

Well, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve read today https://t.co/eUayFXOyAf

— Virginia Yankee (@VirginiaYankee1) November 9, 2023

And it's still early. Imagine what other stupid things they'll come up with.

A. That's not how that works
And
B. Water vapor is a greenhouse gas
This is why no one takes these people seriously. https://t.co/eenBQ3NcUX

— Meth Gator Trainer 🔮💙💎🧪 (@Agnosisparadig1) November 9, 2023

An alarming number of people take this seriously. Soon we'll have to calculate the carbon footprint of our Halloween decorations.

I will make a jack o lantern army. https://t.co/9G6VonbTEg

— Cthulu. Bleach Demon, Snow Roach Extraordinaire. (@Cthulu4ever) November 9, 2023

Yaaaassss.

They will never stop sucking the joy out of life.

Commies gonna commie.

Break your will, control you forever. https://t.co/k9nZtj0XGG

— Jim Mason (@livefreejim) November 9, 2023

Not until we're all as miserable as they are.

Today's ridiculous CNN headlines are tomorrow's national policy. Do not let these people run your lives.

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