Twitchy Presents: Bill Clinton’s 'Rules for Politics' - The X Extended Edition
Absolutely VILE Lefties Continue to Smear Pete Hegseth As a White Supremacist Because...
SHE FOUGHT: Listen to the Absolutely Heartbreaking Opening Statements in the Laken Riley...
The Party's OVER! Politico Says Lobbyists 'Used to Getting Their Way' Fear RFK...
We Feel SO MUCH Safer Knowing the FBI Is Investigating Offensive Text Messages...
Republicans Seek Removal of Security Clearances for Intel Lapdogs Who Lied About Hunter...
Democrats: So Left-Wing They Fly in Circles
Donald Trump Names Karoline Leavitt White House Press Secretary
SAD COMMIE NOISES: Chicago City Council UNANIMOUSLY Rejects Mayor Brandon Johnson's $300M...
She's SUPER SERIOUS, Y'all! AOC Warns RFK Jr. Running HHS Will Take Us...
I'd Like to Teach the World to CRINGE! New AI Coca-Cola Ad Has...
CRUEL Britannia! Care Worker Jailed NINE MONTHS for 'Crime' of Filming Riot Aftermath
Trump Just Crossed an Election Threshold That's a 'First Ever for a Republican...
X Marks the Ad Spot! Big Win for Elon Musk and Free Speech...
'Move the F**K On': Justine Bateman Goes OFF on Scolds Lecturing Her About...

Virgil Goode's accent declared winner of zany third-party debate

Believe it or not, debate season isn’t QUITE over yet. While Mitt Romney and Barack Obama were entering the campaign home stretch, four third-party candidates met Tuesday night in Chicago for a debate (aired by RT America and Al Jazeera English) that was moderated by the always-moderate Larry King. Contestants — er, candidates — included former New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson (Libertarian), Dr. Jill Stein (Green Party), former Virginia congressman Virgil Goode (Constitution Party) and former Salt Lake City mayor Rocky Anderson (Justice Party).

Advertisement

In a supreme feat of irony, even this debate couldn’t avoid candidates kvetching about their non-inclusion.

https://twitter.com/TheRealRoseanne/status/260889432939438080

https://twitter.com/TheRealRoseanne/status/260890418684784640

https://twitter.com/TheRealRoseanne/status/260890523085197312

Even without Roseanne, things got off to a strong start. Anderson seemed practiced in debate jiu-jitsu and knew how to change the subject. He blasted both Romney and Obama over military spending and oil — even though neither subject was part of the question.

Johnson scored the first zinger.

At this point, the moderators realized that they forgot to allow opening statements and decided to go back for a do-over. This confused everyone, including the candidates.

https://twitter.com/bonnyjk/status/260914856411148288

Jill Stein got the first not-opening statement.

Advertisement

Anderson got another shot to show off his oratory skills:

Then came Goode — who got little applause for his right-of-right Constitution Party pitch.

https://twitter.com/jakeszetelaWFM/status/260916535151976448

While the audience may not have been fond of him, Twitter was. Goode’s thick Virginia drawl lit a tweetstorm that seemed to drive more traffic than any issue mentioned.

https://twitter.com/DatSupermerk/status/260916648444325888

Johnson had the crowd on his side and was beating the drums on his main issues.

Advertisement

Goode won the First to Get Booed award.

Johnson fired back by claiming that marijuana is less dangerous than alcohol — based on personal experience with both.

Nobody on stage was pro-drone. In fact, the isolationism was so strong among all of them that Moderator King was displeased.

https://twitter.com/Regssarian/status/260921896328130561

All four also came out against the National Defense Authorization Act.

https://twitter.com/declanm/status/260925831050833920

On college tuition, however, there was no such agreement.

https://twitter.com/OddLane/status/260922856840515584

https://twitter.com/aimeemcooper/status/260923414708117504

The evening finished off with a question about how each would amend the constitution.

Advertisement

And with that, the madness mercifully came to an end. Who won? Well, Anderson and Johnson may have been the best speakers — but Goode was the one trending on Twitter.

https://twitter.com/RandyHauser/status/260928365651963906

https://twitter.com/JSpeth18/status/260929157272313856

Advertisement

The secret to being a winning third-party candidate: Have a Goode accent.

And there may be another chance to hear it!

https://twitter.com/declanm/status/260931698202652675

Vote now, y’all!

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement