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Twitter/X User Shares 'Children's Book' About Joe Biden ... and It's a Wild Ride

Aaron Walker
Aaron Walker  |  4:30 PM on June 17, 2024
AP Photo/Alex Brandon

Some things just have to be seen to be believed. And this is definitely the case with the alleged children's book ‘Everything is Ice Cream: A Tale of an Old Man and His Tongue’ by Chet Festive, and this book is wild, man. 

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Still, a user of Twitter/X who goes by ‘Huff’ decided to share the contents of this book, which is apparently a real book. If Huff’s representation is accurate we can conclude two things:

1) it is not really for kids, and

2) it is a heck of a bit of political satire.

And we might as well put right the beginning something Huff put at the end of his thread. He links to the Amazon page where you can actually buy this thing:

Really, if you think it was wild, fun or clever, maybe consider buying the book? Your call.

And you will notice that Huff is concentrated on determining whether or not it was created with the help of AI. Your mileage might vary, but we find the story itself more interesting than the question of how it was created, because there are going to be plot twists ahead. Seriously. You will not see everything coming.

And naturally, we are trusting Huff’s claims that every image he is presenting is real. But even if Huff is making up everything but the cover—which seems unlikely—it is still a wild piece of satire. In a deep way, it doesn’t matter who created it—AI, Huff, this Chet guy—it’s the story that is the thing.

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We are reminded of the movie Memento. The premise of that movie was that the protagonist couldn’t make new-long term memories, so everything new you told him, he forgot within a few minutes. But he knew he had this problem, somehow, so he compensated by leaving information around him all the time, including notes left around his hotel room and even tattoos on his body. Yes, that is a concept that has been done to death now, but we are pretty sure Memento is the movie that kicked off that trend, and it handled it very well.

Some of the other reminders are ‘Top Secret Obama Eyes Only,’ ‘I am Joe,’ ‘I am President,’ ‘My Wife is Jill,’ ‘The Brown Lady is Kamala,’ ‘The Crack Belongs to My Son.’ So, yeah, really not for kids. There are also two messages partly covered and we tried our best to guess what it was saying. The one higher on the screen says ‘No … Kid … Fu …’ and we are not sure if we want to know how that sentence is supposed to read. The other says ‘Not … iff … he … *nny?’ with the astrerisk representing a cut off character. Using this author’s dyslexic superpowers, we suspect the full message is closer to ‘Do not sniff the …’ and then a word that ends in ‘nny.’

Webster’s dictionary lists some words that end with ‘nny:’ benny, binny, blenny, bonny, branny, bunny, canny, catchpenny, cheveronny, chevronny, conny, cranny, dewanny, dofunny, doofunny, dunny, fanny, fenny, finny, fippenny, fourpenny, funny, getpenny, ginny, goldfinny, goldsinny, granny, grinny, gunny, gyronny, halfpenny, headpenny, henny, hinny, hootenanny, jenny, jinny, johnny, lickpenny, linny, luckpenny, minny, moonpenny, nanny, ninepenny, ninny, penny, piccaninny, pinchpenny, pinny, punny, ranny, runny, seacunny, shanny, shinny, sixpenny, skinny, sonny, squinny, sunny, swanny, swinny, tenpenny, threepenny, tinny, tranny, truepenny, tunny, tuppenny, twelvepenny, twopenny, tyranny, uncanny, unfunny, wenny, and whinny.

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We think many of these just don’t make sense. But ‘nanny’ works, tranny works, and so does ‘fanny’—maybe even as a typo for Fani Willis? Granny works, if they are referencing Jill, and we can think of at least one word Webster’s missed that we can’t print on a family website.

It also might mean ‘do not sniff the bunny,’ and we will be warning our editor about that one, just in case.

Moving on:

We’re not sure they needed to go into a backstory, but seriously, hold on. The wait will be worth it.

We think Huff meant to say ‘what do you guys think?’

Chocolate ice cream, maybe?

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We’ve seen some bad outfits on Mrs. Biden. And for the record, we do think she is fair game. She knows what state her husband is in and hasn’t told the public, and she has indicated that she is part of the administration in terms of policy.

Yeah, ‘sugar.’ Sure …

One of the plot twists.

If there was a soundtrack, we think this is the part where In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfly would start playing.

We were tempted to share a YouTube of the song, in case you are unfamiliar with it, but instead, here’s a clip for the Simpsons when Bart tricked his church into singing it:

Back to this long, strange trip of a book:

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Maybe it’s Thunberg, but we aren’t sure, yet.

Okay, that’s definitely Thunberg.

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The full picture makes it look even more like him, but unfortunately, the embedding is cutting off part of these pictures.

If you don’t get the reference, you might look here:

Yikes. Moving on:

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Wow, that is a sinister picture to end with.

Yeah … we don’t have anything more to say about this book, except wow.

And we suppose we should remind you that Huff provided a link to buy this on Amazon that we put at the beginning of this piece. If you get your books anywhere else, you might search for it there. It's not for kids, obviously, but an adult might still get a kick out of it.

Tags: BOOK FUNNY ICE CREAM JOE BIDEN PRESIDENT SATIRE

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