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Is the Iranian President, Ebrahim Raisi, Dead or Alive? (And the Jokes Are Pouring In)

Aaron Walker  |  2:33 PM on May 19, 2024
Iranian Presidency Office via AP

This is a breaking story, so the 24-hour rule applies: All reports within the first 24 hours are suspect. But we will strive to give you the most accurate information.

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Is the president of Iran, Ebrahim Raisi, dead or alive? We honestly don’t know, and that standard disclaimer we just put above applies more than usual.

In fact, we don’t know much of anything. To sum things up, we are pretty sure he was in a helicopter flying in bad weather. We are pretty sure that they came out of the sky … not entirely voluntarily. We have seen reports that it had a ‘hard landing.’ We have also seen reports that it ‘crashed.’ We don’t know at this time if he is alive or not.

And since Iran is governed by a repressive regime, we don’t expect to know the truth for certain for a while. Further, this author believes in the motto sic semper tyrannis, so we are not exactly praying for his health and safety.

Here’s some of what we are getting from Twitter/X:

And of course, we all know you can trust state media, especially in repressive regimes. /sarcasm

Naturally, Grizzly Joe is linking to a BBC (British state media) article that says the following:

A helicopter carrying the Iranian president has been involved in an accident, state media is reporting.

State media says President Ebrahim Raisi was on board a helicopter that experienced a hard landing on Sunday.

It was also said to be carrying Iran's Foreign Minister Hossein Amirabdollahian.

The Interior Minister said rescuers were still trying to reach the site due to the difficult weather conditions.

The condition of those on board the helicopter remains unknown for now, with reports that no contact has yet been made.

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Of course, our sister site says that it has actually crashed:

From the article:

The details about the situation are thin, but Iranian media channels have asked for people to pray.

We are indeed praying, but probably not for the same outcome they are praying for.

This thread also contains a useful reminder and a lot of good analysis:

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‘The Biden Administration would be wise’? It would be a huge change if the Biden administration suddenly became wise on Iran, or any other part of the middle east. Or on … pretty much anything.

But to be fair to Mr. Goldberg, he seems to get that:

So that’s where we are. To borrow from fellow writer Amy Curtis, he is Schrödinger’s dictator. 

But it’s not too early for us to laugh and we definitely are getting the funny:

No, no… you absolutely should.

The underlying truth behind the joke is that it is a near certainty that Israel will be blamed, regardless of the evidence. And to get serious for a moment before we laugh again, we’d like to make a larger point about that.

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The left loves to engage in what we like to call the ‘reasoning from violence’ fallacy. The ‘logic’ goes like this. When people are oppressed, they engage in violence. Therefore, when people are violent, they must be oppressed. 

Now the claim that some people get violent when they are oppressed is undeniably true. Our own Declaration of Independence is literally a document justifying violent revolution, and the long history of slave revolts are another example. The Jews of Warsaw got violent against their Nazi oppressors during World War II and we rightfully honor their courage and sacrifice.

But in the vast majority of human history, when there is violence, it is unjustified. Indeed, many of the just rebellions in history are motivated by the unjust violence of others. The Jews of Warsaw, for instance, were responding to the violent genocide of their people, and a great deal of violence is always necessary to maintain human slavery. We certainly don’t see the left apply the same ‘reasoning from violence’ fallacy when it is the Klan or Tim McVeigh.

Another problem with using violence as a way of detecting injustice is that the people disposed to violence are often off their rockers. A long time ago, at another website, this author wrote a piece talking about paranoia around Jews:

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It was mostly a humorous piece talking about how much of the middle east had all kinds of crazy conspiracy theories claiming that Israeli agents were somehow controlling sharks, pigeons, squirrels and rats into their service. But the larger point, other than pointing and laughing, was this:

one major flaw in that [reasoning from violence] theory is that a lot of people in that part of the world are so paranoid in their anti-Semitism, that they literally will believe their enemies can and will do anything.  Everything is a Jewish conspiracy.  The rats in their sewers.  A few pigeons crapping on their car.  So naturally other things, like the complete state of crap these economies find themselves in is naturally the Jooos fault, right?  Them and the Americans, naturally.  My point is that stories like this demonstrate that their ability to even perceive actual injustice and assign correct blame is seriously compromised by their paranoid hatred of Jews, yet another reason why their violence is a terrible gauge of the justice of their cause.

Back to laughing, the feed entitled ‘The Mossad: Satirical, Yet Awesome’ has been having fun with the news, which should shock exactly no one:

The really disturbing part of that picture is the lips … pure nightmare fuel.

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That is haram. You can still see her wings!

We thought the Eli Kopter bit was 100% a joke, but apparently people in Iranian intelligence actually think the pilot was a Mossad agent named ‘Eli Kopter?’

Which is not a joke, but it is still hilarious. It honestly reminds us of this all-timer prank that somehow made it into the news:

And others are having fun with it, too:

She’s oddly hot.

The cut off text says:

The good news is that he isn’t dead because as @soveryisraeli (who is very close friends with him) explains, he has MANY lives. 

This is from @soveryisraeli

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Looks legit.

And, of course, the satirical Mossad had other fun:

And others, too:

Would that be a cocaine bear? Or is this a Leonardo DiCaprio situation?

Or worse yet, both?

Tags: BREAKING NEWS CRASH IRAN PRESIDENT

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