For something a little lighter, dear readers, can you see what is wrong with this book cover?
Well, if you are President Blutarsky, you feel vindicated:
Yes, those are German planes bombing Pearl Harbor. Yes, it is a real book.
No, it is not an alternate history book or something like that. It is listed on Amazon under ‘Teen & Young Adult 20th Century United States History.’ The back of the book, by Michael J. Clark, claims that the book was dedicated to his grandfather, Lester Lloyd Clark, who was injured at Pearl Harbor. It also states that ‘Had he of been mortally wounded I wouldn’t have a story to tell.’ That typo belongs to him. Also, they designate it a ‘#1 new release.’
Does this mean it is a best seller? Well, we have a theory we will share in a minute.
But first, let’s laugh about it. Amazon had some pretty funny reviews.
‘Paul H’ writes.
Get the inside story on how four German FW-190s breached US defenses in Pearl Harbor to deliver an until-now never known attack.
This author is a bit of a history geek, but admit we can't identify specific planes on sight. On the other hand, we know common German insignias.
‘Mike M’ writes:
I haven't read this book nor do I intend to. The cover shows planes with German Luftwaffe markings. There were no German planes at Pearl Harbor! Either the author either didn't check the cover or is ignorant himself of the difference. If he can't get his cover correct on a non-fiction book, then it isn't worth my time to read.
Monte Moore writes, in a review entitled ‘OMG:’
The cover art! You know what they say about 1st impressions. How could you put German markings on aircraft attacking Pearl Harbor? I will pass on this one.
We were tempted to write a quick, joking review, but it turns out that Amazon wouldn’t let us do so, writing
Amazon has noticed unusual reviewing activity on this product. Due to this activity, we have limited this product to verified purchase reviews.
Thus, if you didn’t buy the book from Amazon, you can’t review it. But you can ‘Report incorrect product information.’
Still, we wonder if that is why it is #1. Is it possible that people saw restrictions on reviews and then officially bought the book, planning to either cancel the order or to return it and get their money back, just so they could review it?
Either that or it is actually popular, and people are stupid. We report, you decide.
Meanwhile on Twitter/X, you don’t have to buy the book to drag it:
So Bluto was right?— Roger Justus (@rajustus) September 14, 2023
That’s President Blutarsky, Sir.
The FW 190 was operational in summer 1941— Siegfried Herzog (@biberacher) September 15, 2023
😂😂😂— Siegfried Herzog (@biberacher) September 15, 2023
I believe this might be…. pic.twitter.com/swcwB0saXK— Keith Cavender 🇺🇸🇹🇼🕯️ (@CavenderKeith) September 15, 2023
and this is the IMJ Yamoto? pic.twitter.com/CQZIVvJxv6— Charles R. Smith🔹 (@softwarnet) September 15, 2023
Sir, that is called the Space Battleship Yamato it looks like this:
(If you get the joke and/or are a fan of Space Battleship Yamato/Star Blazers, the 2010 live action movie is a lot of fun.)
This even led to international strife:
Honestly, I really don't care if you're Brit. I really don't.— Barney Kul (@Barney26785082) September 15, 2023
I would just appreciate it if you would not do it in public.
If my son came home one day and said, "Dad, I'm Brit", I would be supportive and I would love him just the same, but deep down there would be a little disappointment.— Barney Kul (@Barney26785082) September 15, 2023
Girl Brits are hot, though.— Barney Kul (@Barney26785082) September 15, 2023
We feel like we are getting off topic.
Someone used AI to generate the picture, right? No one who's skilled in painting aircraft would make such a mistake.— Leon Timmermans (@leon_timmermans) September 15, 2023
We think that is likely. One guy also believed AI might have been used more extensively:
My guess is it's 79 pages of AI-generated drivel.— David Alexander (@DaveAlexanderID) September 15, 2023
Still better than the movie...https://t.co/5eRxQNCSlD— Scot Cregan (@scotcregan) September 14, 2023
Much better than Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbor. But jokes aside, this author heartily recommends the 2019 Midway, which covers Pearl Harbor, the Doolittle Raid and the titular battle and puts the Bay movie to shame.
Common Core History.— JohnX HamblinX (@JohnDHamblin) September 15, 2023
Really! WOW I didn't know that. My schools, text books and Encyclopedia must all have suffered from politically incorrect misinformation. I mean it was the 60s and early 70s, a time of ignorance and the Vietnam War.— Ron Lopez (@lope33696450) September 15, 2023
That also means Grandpa lied to me about the war. How could he?
This makes me want to cry— Merf’s Revenge (@merf_is_back) September 15, 2023
They're referring to the epic but little-known FW-190 air battle over Pearl Harbor, France.— Edward Loomis (@ed_loomis) September 14, 2023
We stand corrected.
The mockery even went multi-lingual:
Oups ! Le stagiaire encore et toujours… https://t.co/6Od97PoIw1— Eric Gautier (@ErikGautier) September 15, 2023
Google says it translates from French to ‘Oops ! The intern again and again...’ We don't know how accurate these Google translations are, but it's still pretty funny.
And how many Pollocks does it take to mock this cover?
Pewnie można zaliczyć większą wtopę graficzno-wydawniczą, ale ja sobie nie wyobrażam;-) https://t.co/g8xTHqDcAG— Tomasz Kuczborski (@tomek_Q) September 15, 2023
Translation from Polish to English:
There's probably a bigger graphical and publishing failure, but I can't imagine it ;-)
Of course, we don’t actually have prejudice about the polish people, but the joke was right there. We don't have the willpower to resist it.
Zaczynam podejrzewać, że request dla AI miał pewne luki;-)— Tomasz Kuczborski (@tomek_Q) September 15, 2023
I'm starting to suspect that the request for AI had some vulnerabilities ;-)
Chyba nawet dziś widziałem na tt okładkę "Na Zachodzie bez zmian", w wersji angielskiej, gdzie widniał kowboj z Dzikiego Zachodu, podobno to nie fake 😁— *Krzysztof Świderski #PanTorpeda💙 (@krzyches) September 15, 2023
I think even today I saw the cover of ‘No Changes in the West’ on Twitter, in the English version, with a cowboy from the Wild West, apparently it's not fake
We are pretty sure the better translation for the title of the book is 'All Quiet on the Western front,’ and we have seen it, too:
So is this one: pic.twitter.com/aJ75dGmAml— Mitch "The Wałęsa Project" Berg 🇺🇸 (@mitchpberg) September 15, 2023
And while this user claims it is a real cover, we have no way of knowing if he is right.
And for sharp-eyed readers, now you get why we were joking about Germans bombing Pearl Harbor earlier.
We are also faintly reminded of an actual attraction near Natural Bridge, Virginia, called ‘Dinosaur Kingdom II.’ It tells the totally true story, using statues that completely accurately depict the story of how an evil Yankee scientist used time travel to bring dinosaurs into the Civil War, and how it all went wrong for the North. Here’s one Tweet, genuinely loving the spirit of the place:
Y'all: run, don't walk, to Dinosaur Kingdom II. The Union army uses dinosaurs to fight the Confederates, and Stonewall Jackson (with a robotic arm) makes an appearance.— Amelia Golcheski (@golcheski) August 10, 2019
Southern memory and dinosaurs in Virginia’s Blue Ridge. What more could a historian/public human want? pic.twitter.com/Ii8Cgj8KlX
And here’s a video from Vice, where the interviewer is seems to be really trying hard to find a reason to be offended:
"The Yankee troops wanted to use these dinosaurs as weapons of mass destruction against the South. It kind of backfired on them."— VICE News (@VICENews) November 4, 2018
This is Dinosaur Kingdom II, a theme park where dinosaurs defeat the Union Army in a Civil War battle forgotten by history. pic.twitter.com/2F2lH3djrJ
The worst mistake you could make is taking that place seriously, on any level. We think it looks like a good time. Pay $10, get some exercise and be amused by the joyful nonsense. That seems like a bargain to us.
As for Mr. Clark's book, probably his best defense is to pretend he is in on the joke. Good luck with that.
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