Love triangles are just SO twentieth century.

In fact, the whole polygon analogy seems woefully inadequate to describe the still developing scandal involving married Gen. David Petraeus, his married biographer Paula Broadwell, married “social liaison” Jill Kelley, a shirtless FBI agent, and now, another married general.

ISAF Commander Gen. John Allen is under investigation for exchanging thousands of pages of “inappropriate emails” with Jill Kelley, the other “other woman” in the Petraeus scandal. 30,000 pages of emails between between 2010 and 2012 — how did he have time for anything else?

At least Lifetime scriptwriters will be busy for a while.

https://twitter.com/kesgardner/status/268237731585466369

One possibility:

Gchat or email, that’s still a whole lotta emailing for the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan.

U.S. Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta says he ordered a Pentagon investigation of Gen. Allen on Monday.

While the matter is under investigation and before the facts are determined, General Allen will remain Commander of ISAF.  His leadership has been instrumental in achieving the significant progress that ISAF, working alongside our Afghan partners, has made in bringing greater security to the Afghan people and in ensuring that Afghanistan never again becomes a safe haven for terrorists.  He is entitled to due process in this matter.

In the meantime, I have asked the President – and the President has agreed – to put his nomination on hold until the relevant facts are determined. I have asked both Senators Levin and McCain that the confirmation hearing on General Allen’s pending nomination to be Commander of United States European Command and Supreme Allied Commander, Europe be delayed.

This story, of course, has captured the rapt attention of the drooling lapdog media, including NBC’s Chuck Todd.

We wouldn’t put money on that happening any time soon.

Update:

As suggested by one of the commenters below, could someone get on this?

Update:

As if there was any question, a senior Department of Defense official calls the emails between Kelley and Allen “flirtatious.”

Update:

Oh, boy.

Allen and Petraeus also helped Jill Kelley’s twin sister, Natalie Khawam, during a custody battle.

Both Petraeus and Allen apparently decided intervene in the same nasty court fight over a four year old, siding with the mother who, according to court documents, took her son to Florida when he was four months old after a heated argument.

Full Twitchy coverage: What’s next? Stripper with a heart of gold? Petraeus aided Jill Kelley’s ‘unstable twin’ sister; Update: Gen. Allen also helped twin

  • Paul C.

    I feel “EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE” coming when they get too close.

    • b_truit

      Bingo. You my friend win the smart guy award for the day.

    • http://twitter.com/Sam_Howard6 Sam Howard

      Except, executive privilege doesn’t count if you are committing crimes…Ask Nixon…And I have a feeling there was a little bit of… “You say what I tell you to say Gen. Petraeus or I will expose all of your philandering.” AKA #BlackMail

    • http://twitter.com/Sam_Howard6 Sam Howard

      Except, executive privilege doesn’t count if you are committing crimes…Ask Nixon…And I have a feeling there was a little bit of… “You say what I tell you to say Gen. Petraeus or I will expose all of your philandering.” AKA #BlackMail

  • http://twitter.com/arljim78 exceller

    I’m going to need someone to diagram this one for me, so I can follow. It’s getting a bit complicated to follow.

    • JustLikeAnimals

      More like a functional chart! Prime example of a government unchecked.

  • my preciousss!!

    who screwed who? when did they know it? this love quadrangle is as confounding as trying to learn chinese calligraphy.

  • http://Twitter.com/jkerrysforehead John Kerry’s Forehead

    SQUIRREL! What is Obama pushing through while America watches the sex scandal that means absolutely NOTHING?

    • Kimberly Schutzenhofer

      approx 68 new regulations of some sort every day in the last month.

  • disappearing moderate

    Why did the FBI investigate private e-mails that rose to the level of a middle school girls’ facebook war? Why did Holder (supposedly) sit on FBI investigation story? Why did DP push the video story? What was the mission of the large CIA contingent in Benghazi?

    Gone, reassigned, retired or investigated: McChrystal, Ham, Gaouette, Petraeus, Allen. I’m grabbing my tin foil hat because this is starting to look like some kind of reverse Seven Days in May scenario. BTW, Jennifer Griffin on Fox just said that the e-mail exchanges between Allen and Jill Kelley were of a sexual nature.

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      Very good analogy with 7 Days.

    • YeahWeWill

      My thought too. Why the hell would the FBI pursue the email thing? There’s so much more shiat going on! This country is swirling and heading down the toilet bowl!

  • JustLikeAnimals

    This government and its immoral, ill-fated “leadership” are driving this country and all of us with it, straight into a fiscal and moral abyss.

  • disappearing moderate

    This according to the Tampa Bay Times: despite living in a 1.5 mil mansion, the Kelleys have been sued at least 9 times since moving to Tampa over unpaid real estate and credit card debt. Someone with money troubles who happens to take down a 4 star General and a CIA director? A coinky-dink I’m sure.

  • yebbid

    #DavidPetraeusIsAPimp

  • JustLikeAnimals

    Gen. Allen served as deputy commander of US Central Command at McDill AFB in Tampa, FL, from July 2008 to June 2011 before he got shipped out to Afganistan. This is where Jill Kelley works as a “social liaison.” 30,000 emails??!!!! Wow. Sounds like someone was missing their candy.

    • YeahWeWill

      Social liaison? Is that what it’s called now;) ?

  • Patriot

    I’m concerned that this has set back the “Women in Combat” initiative seeing as how the pilot program a.k.a. “Concubines in Combat” has gone so poorly.

  • JustLikeAnimals

    This now gives context for Paula Broadwell’s alleged email to Jill Kelley in which she reportedly said “I know what you did.” Was Broadwell talking about Kelly’s affair with Allen when he was at McDill AFB before he got sent to command ISAF-Afganistan? And if so, how did Broadwell know about it, since she didn’t know Kelly? Did Patraeus tell Broadwell about Allen? Bet Kelley now regrets calling her FBI friend. And what’s this about Kelley having been sued 9 times in Tampa for unpaid real estate and credit card debt? That’s a textbook motive for blackmail and extortion. Tangled, tangled webs….

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Frankie-Allan/555457444 Frankie Allan

    this is what happens when morality is looked up as a dirty word

  • thetawake

    Lapdog media must’ve been told to push this like it’s Christ’s Coming to distract. Well, guess what? The Clintons taught us affairs at this level don’t matter much when there are important national issues to contend with.

  • Scott

    I’ve been with my wife since 1989 working different shifts and different days. We haven’t texted,emailed or phoned that many times combined. And we have 3 accident prone boys. WTF if we talked that freaking much we probably wouldn’t still be married. Unfreakinbelieveable 20-30000. Wow!

  • http://twitter.com/advancingtruth Claire Adams

    What’s that I hear? Oh, it’s the sound of terrified citizens who haven’t even had affairs deleting emails and, heck, taking hammers to their motherboards. (those of us in tin foil hats, ‘disappearing moderate’)

  • GTFOBigGovt

    Aside from squirrel!, I have the same level of anger towards these jackasses as I had for the Rapist-In_Chief Clinton 5 minutes after 911. How about some WORK…from the neck UP.

    And WTF is a social liason? There should be NO ~actual socializing with the general public for military at this point.

  • GTFOBigGovt

    Aside from squirrel!, I have the same level of anger towards these jackasses as I had for the Rapist-In_Chief Clinton 5 minutes after 911. How about some WORK…from the neck UP.

    And WTF is a social liason? There should be NO ~actual socializing with the general public for military at this point.

  • Obamaroid_Ointment

    Gen. Allen was too busy hotmailing his hottie to run the war, no wonder Camp Bastion was overrun.

    http://twitchy.com/2012/09/15/well-coordinated-camp-leatherneck-attackers-wore-us-uniforms/

  • Obamaroid_Ointment

    Gen. Allen was too busy hotmailing his hottie to run the war, no wonder Camp Bastion was overrun.

    http://twitchy.com/2012/09/15/well-coordinated-camp-leatherneck-attackers-wore-us-uniforms/

  • Gustavo

    The Kelley’s, the FBI wingnut, Eric Cantor, Petraeus, Broadwell….so many Twitchy readers caught up in yet another right wing FAIL

    • TexSizzle

      Government workers under a Democratic – what does that have to do with the right wing?

  • Gustavo

    The Kelley’s, the FBI wingnut, Eric Cantor, Petraeus, Broadwell….so many Twitchy readers caught up in yet another right wing FAIL

  • sleazyrider

    Have these people ever heard of encryption?

  • rivers

    Real housewives of the Pentagon.

  • Vincent Williams

    30,000 emails… or an average of 27 to 41 PER DAY. Hell, it takes 27 to 41 days for me to get a response to ONE.

  • YeahWeWill

    WTF I can’t for a minute believe that all of this is occurring without some peripheral link to Benghazi.

  • RalphTheCat

    Wow, ain’t it great. You need a scorecard to keep this straight.

    Both of these guys need to be prosecuted. They

  • lainer51

    why such shock re: Gen. P? At least he wasn’t playing “Truth or Dare to hide the Cigar” in the oval office… libs said that was “Bubba’s personal business” and we should all butt out!!