Well, it's not quite a feature film yet, but it should be.
Colombia will try to control its population of more than 100 hippopotamuses, descendants of animals illegally brought to the country by Pablo Escobar, through surgical sterilization, the transfer of hippos to other countries and possibly euthanasia. https://t.co/SkHwJxxp9o
— CBS News (@CBSNews) November 3, 2023
Apparently, Pablo Escobar imported four hippos for his private zoo while he was running his cocaine empire. That relatively innocuous number has since blossomed into the roughly 169 that currently call the rivers of Colombia home. These hippos are feral and quite happy in their new environment where they lack the natural predators of their native Africa. Now they appear to be wiping out a large amount of grassland, poisoning their habitat, and being an all-around nuisance to the people in their vicinity. It should also be noted that hippos are dangerously territorial and notorious for unpredictable violence.
Naturally, X users chimed in with some unique takes on this international story.
Could the hippos be transported to a suitable environment in another country, rather than culled? https://t.co/OFs4Ut6kP1
— World Health Alert Crisis (@WorldHealthAle1) November 4, 2023
We believe that's how this particular situation started. The only suitable environment for them to be removed to would be their native Africa.
Culling them will certainly stop them breeding.
— BarleyHillBob (@HillBarley) November 5, 2023
Yep. It's hard to breed when dead.
1980's - " I bet in the future we'll have flying cars."
— Random Rack (@RandomRackHQ) November 4, 2023
2023- "Sex-crazed hippos high on cocaine to be killed as population spirals out of control."
We were once youthful, with optimism about the future, too. Alas, the 21st century has not been kind to our aspirations.
A few users embodied Gayla Peevey and declared that they would, indeed, like a hippopotamus for Christmas.
I will happily take the cocaine hippos as pets. https://t.co/XUKwB8LXRr
— DangerousFreedumb (@DangrousFreedum) November 4, 2023
Others figure that the cocaine hippos could be a creative solution to another problem.
@GregAbbott_TX you need a couple of them columbian cocaine hippos in the Rio
— TruthBtold (@TruthBt02802234) November 4, 2023
A number of people believe that cocaine hippos is a great name for a band.
I need to form a band, because I’ve got the perfect name: “Cocaine Hippos”https://t.co/PaIvFdy63w
— TimmyTimTom (@TimmyTimTom5) November 3, 2023
We saw Cocaine Hippos Open for the Stones in Asbury Park.
We'll leave you on this note.
This year, instead of a dog, consider rescuing a Colombian cocaine hippo for you and your family.https://t.co/FqxfVWvFQc pic.twitter.com/8P64OcENfz
— matt (@OffGridGizmos) November 3, 2023
Won't you think of the poor sex-crazed cocaine hippos?
And now back to your regularly scheduled X-based insanity.
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