Well, society, we had a good run:
— Slate (@Slate) November 6, 2015
We can’t today.
@Slate Slate is becoming indistinguishable from Salon
— Thomas Castle (@exophrenologist) November 6, 2015
— Brandon Morse (@TheBrandonMorse) November 6, 2015
We don’t blame you. Especially after we tried to read the damn thing:
If the argument against spooning were only a physical one, I would not feel so strongly. After all, many people are gluttons for punishment—who am I to deny them their strange pleasure? But there’s a deeper issue here, a troubling aspect of spooning that emerges in the dimension of ideology, of what it all means.
Please recall the big spoon/little spoon roles I described earlier. A look at the gay adaptation of these terms is useful in exposing the power relationship they instantiate. Among gay men, big spoon and little spoon have become softer ways of signaling whether one is a top or a bottom during sex. But, as has been true of the top/bottom dynamic since the beginning, these also carry certain connotative weight: Big spoons are manly and will take care of you (provided you let them use you to take care of themselves); little spoons are fragile, passive creatures that need to be held and kept safe. This, of course, is fundamentally a sexist arrangement, one that casts the big spoon as “the man” and the little spoon as “the woman.” To say that this power imbalance is built into all acts of spooning—whichever the sexes engaged—is not, I think, an overstatement. Indeed, I would argue that spooning is always already a power play, a perverse strategy by which we nightly enact the unjust relations of “big” and “little” privilege that plague our society on every level.
We can do better than this.
It’s certainly hard to do worse than that.
@Slate is this satire?
— Trumpster (@kalpokashyap) November 6, 2015
Is… Is this parody? This has to be parody, yes?
— Michele Frost (@michelelfrost) November 6, 2015
It sure reads like parody …
@Slate this is terrible, satire or not.
— Andrew K (@dylanmorgan) November 6, 2015
But honestly, we can no longer put it past Slate to publish this kind of crap in earnest.
And that’s what’s really depressing..
@Slate Its possible that there are too many people employed as writers
— Jonathan Bruck (@jonathanbruck) November 6, 2015
@Slate What? Do people actually get paid to write this?
— Alex (@PoliticalTropes) November 6, 2015
@Slate So in other words it's now easy to earn a living writing complete nonsense?
— Highwayman (@PureMitten) November 6, 2015
@Slate I'd argue it's more sexist for a dude to decide what is and isn't sexist toward women, but hey, what do I know? ¯_(ツ)_/¯
— Alisha Grauso (@AlishaGrauso) November 6, 2015
"a troubling aspect of spooning that emerges in the dimension of ideology." How exhausting, living like this. https://t.co/jfQKr9ohO6
— Sean T at RCP (@SeanTrende) November 6, 2015
The stupid is strong over at @Slate
— DjWeideman (@DjWeideman) November 6, 2015
"Vertical cuddling…. Removes much of the risk of physical discomfort and all of the semiotic violence that spooning conveys."
— Liz O'GingerMcIrish (@lizzyf620) November 6, 2015
Spooning is sexist… Now I've heard it all.https://t.co/qaEXtUR92F
— Julia Davis (@JuliaDavisNews) November 6, 2015
— Kristine ❀♡❀♡ (@KristineAz) November 6, 2015
Can't believe yall writing thinkpieces calling spooning trash. I hate the internet
— #BracketGawd (@HumbleTeej) November 6, 2015
Headline: "spooning is sexist"… goodbye, world.
— jamabam (@jamabam) November 6, 2015
@Slate you've picked an odd barrel to scrape the bottom of.
— Mike (@NeverUMike) November 6, 2015
Possibly the dumbest thing I've read. Congratulations. @Slate
— Brenda (@whitewinery) November 6, 2015
Need a palate cleanser? Here’s an idea:
Piss of a pantywaist, go spoon your loved one. Hell, go grab a (hot) stranger if need be and ask them if they'd like to spoon #ForAmerica
— LMR (@LilMissRightie) November 6, 2015
Editor’s note: The title of this piece originally referred to “Slate’s ‘sexist’ spooning piece.” We’ve altered the title for to clarify that spooning — not the piece itself — is being referred to by Slate as “sexist.” Also, this post has been updated with additional tweets.