Well, society, we had a good run:
Spooning is the WORST. It's uncomfortable, it's sexist, and it has to stop: https://t.co/Gwsud5UMoC pic.twitter.com/hdDb5Xtx0w
— Slate (@Slate) November 6, 2015
We can’t today.
https://twitter.com/exophrenologist/status/662428245736951808
Every now and again, I get @Slate and @Salon confused. pic.twitter.com/VB99wWipcF
— Brandon Morse (@TheBrandonMorse) November 6, 2015
We don’t blame you. Especially after we tried to read the damn thing:
If the argument against spooning were only a physical one, I would not feel so strongly. After all, many people are gluttons for punishment—who am I to deny them their strange pleasure? But there’s a deeper issue here, a troubling aspect of spooning that emerges in the dimension of ideology, of what it all means.
Please recall the big spoon/little spoon roles I described earlier. A look at the gay adaptation of these terms is useful in exposing the power relationship they instantiate. Among gay men, big spoon and little spoon have become softer ways of signaling whether one is a top or a bottom during sex. But, as has been true of the top/bottom dynamic since the beginning, these also carry certain connotative weight: Big spoons are manly and will take care of you (provided you let them use you to take care of themselves); little spoons are fragile, passive creatures that need to be held and kept safe. This, of course, is fundamentally a sexist arrangement, one that casts the big spoon as “the man” and the little spoon as “the woman.” To say that this power imbalance is built into all acts of spooning—whichever the sexes engaged—is not, I think, an overstatement. Indeed, I would argue that spooning is always already a power play, a perverse strategy by which we nightly enact the unjust relations of “big” and “little” privilege that plague our society on every level.
Recommended
We can do better than this.
It’s certainly hard to do worse than that.
https://twitter.com/__ScarySpice/status/662445868771971072
https://twitter.com/kalpokashyap/status/662425560405049344
Is… Is this parody? This has to be parody, yes?
https://t.co/QcMiutdzs6— Michele Frost (@michelelfrost) November 6, 2015
It sure reads like parody …
@Slate this is terrible, satire or not.
— Andrew K (@dylanmorgan) November 6, 2015
But honestly, we can no longer put it past Slate to publish this kind of crap in earnest.
And that’s what’s really depressing..
@Slate Its possible that there are too many people employed as writers
— Jonathan Bruck (@jonathanbruck) November 6, 2015
https://twitter.com/ReclaimCT/status/662425558089863168
https://twitter.com/PureMitten/status/662426702543495168
@Slate I'd argue it's more sexist for a dude to decide what is and isn't sexist toward women, but hey, what do I know? ¯_(ツ)_/¯
— Alisha Grauso (@AlishaGrauso) November 6, 2015
"a troubling aspect of spooning that emerges in the dimension of ideology." How exhausting, living like this. https://t.co/jfQKr9ohO6
— Sean T at RCP (@SeanTrende) November 6, 2015
The stupid is strong over at @Slate
— DjWeideman (@DjWeideman) November 6, 2015
https://twitter.com/MrDonCarpenter/status/662433841450061824
"Vertical cuddling…. Removes much of the risk of physical discomfort and all of the semiotic violence that spooning conveys."
OHMYGOD
— Liz Finnegan (@TheGingerarchy) November 6, 2015
Spooning is sexist… Now I've heard it all.https://t.co/qaEXtUR92F
— Julia Davis (@JuliaDavisNews) November 6, 2015
I just can't even w/these miserable, lonely people. Consistently find new lows of parodying themselves @TwitchyTeam https://t.co/RYF6i2bvRw
— ? ????? ???????? ? (@KristineAz) November 6, 2015
Can't believe yall writing thinkpieces calling spooning trash. I hate the internet
— Django Fett (@HumbleTeej) November 6, 2015
Headline: "spooning is sexist"… goodbye, world.
— jamabam (@jamabam) November 6, 2015
@Slate you've picked an odd barrel to scrape the bottom of.
— 10pm Exactly (@Never10pm) November 6, 2015
Possibly the dumbest thing I've read. Congratulations. @Slate
— BrendaLee (@whitewinery) November 6, 2015
Need a palate cleanser? Here’s an idea:
https://twitter.com/LilMissRightie/status/662430089355882496
Editor’s note: The title of this piece originally referred to “Slate’s ‘sexist’ spooning piece.” We’ve altered the title for to clarify that spooning — not the piece itself — is being referred to by Slate as “sexist.” Also, this post has been updated with additional tweets.
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