When he’s not busy having family members and independent thinkers killed, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un enjoys long walks on the beach.

So it stands to reason that after enough long walks, the famously plump oppressor would start to slim down a bit.

And it stands to reason that American media would greet the weight loss with great interest and admiration. Take it away, CBS News:

The AP has a similar headline about the newly svelte homicidal communist dictator:

Apparently these people missed the memo that Kim Jong Un is evil personified no matter what size he is.

Also “CBS News’ heart.”

That’s probably it.

Hey, CBS News:

No you do not.