Everybody give it up for the Guardians of Truth, without whom we might never have known what a depraved, sadistic, predatory sleazeball Jeffrey Epstein is.

CNN hall monitor Brian Stelter would like to get the applause going:

Where would we be without intrepid firefighters like Stelter to keep us abreast of all the important Real News, Mr. President?

Amazing, yes. Unpredictable? Not even remotely.

Let’s hear it for the real heroes.