Ok, everyone can relax, John Kerry says ISIS is on the run.

Shew!

Because ISIS isn’t on the run, John.

See?

As for Turkey specifically …

They got some gas, that’s it … besides, we’re more focused on hashtags, emoji and Pokemon Go.

Hey man, no big deal, they just kinda sorta shut down part of our ‘country’ for a little bit. It was totes minor.

Right? Obama was FAR too busy playing golf.

To be fair, US intelligence doesn’t seem to have much info these days … quick, someone call James Taylor.