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Stop! Don't! Come Back! Hasan Piker Says He Has Deleted Twitter From His Phone

Grateful Calvin
Grateful Calvin  |  8:00 AM on September 01, 2026


It can't be easy being Hasan Piker. You spend your days and nights saying the most vile things you can imagine, like that America deserved 9/11 and that you want the streets to run red with capitalist blood, and people actually get mad at you for that. Heck, you can't even torture your own dog without people noticing that you are lower than pond scum. Even your hairdresser knows you are a complete clown show.

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And now all of your closest Democrat friends are trying to abandon you. Your Islamist bestie Abdul El-Sayed is pretending he's barely ever heard of you. Bernie Sanders, a fellow Marxist, said that you're "just a podcaster," and even Jonathan Chait of The Atlantic — THE ATLANTIC — labeled you a "moral crisis" for Democrats. 

What's a poor, America-hating, champagne Communist to do? 

If you're Piker, you pivot to playing the victim and announce to the world that you're deleting Twitter because everyone there is just a big, old bunch of meanies. Watch: 

Aww. Where are the microscopic violins when you need them? 

Don't worry, though. Like most unhinged lunatics who treat X like an airport and feel the need to announce their departure [cough—Keith Olbermann—cough], we'd never be so lucky as to have Piker really leave the platform. He'll be back, maybe even before this article gets published. 

Dang it. 

As for Piker's other announcement, that he is returning to "moral sanity," someone should buy him a dictionary, as he clearly does not know what either of those words mean, let alone what they mean combined. 

Our favorite part was when Piker said that he was subject to "incessant slander hour" on X. 

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"Slander," in this case, meaning "other people repeating the words that he himself has said."

That's not fair!

How DARE anyone notice those words and remind him of all of them? 

That's, umm, slander! 

... or something. 

We can only pray that, someday, his dog gets to exact the justice against him that she deserves. 

Unfortunately, we know Piker will be back because he didn't delete or deactivate his account. 

This was just Drama Queen Hour for him on his Twitch (not to be confused with Twitchy) channel.

Sigh ... if only. 

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Community Notes are MEAN, reminding Piker that, yes, he has said (often) that he hates America, even as he tries to deny it. 

LOL. 

Sometimes, a Community Note can be a thing of beauty and a joy forever. 

It turns out that people with glass jaws ALSO shouldn't throw stones. 

Incredible. Got TKO'd by his hairdresser, who might weigh 95 pounds soaking wet. 

Well, he himself is not dangerous, as that stylist showed. But he definitely tries to incite others to violence and revolution, which is very dangerous. 

Piker might be most dangerous, though, to the Democrats who were so recently embracing him on their campaign stops, but now can't seem to even remember his name. 

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Oh, we'd pay folding money to see those internals in Michigan right now. 

They must look like a nightmare. 

As predictable as the tides. 

And sure enough, Piker is still replying to people on X with his snide, hateful remarks. 

Oh well. 

The dream of being Hasan Piker-free was fun while it lasted ... for all of about 30 seconds. 

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