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Electrifying News! DHS Plans to Equip ICE Agents With Non-Lethal Shock Gloves

Grateful Calvin
Grateful Calvin  |  6:00 PM on August 13, 2026


When it comes to illegal immigration, there is no winning with the Left in America except by abandoning federal law completely and simply letting the illegals overrun America. 

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ICE agents have been under fire for their justified shootings of some illegals and criminals, while the media leaves out the key details that these people were violently attacking those federal officers or trying to run them over. 

Never let it be said, however, that DHS and ICE don't want to find a kinder, gentler method of dealing with these criminals and rioters. 

In this case, 'kinder and gentler' involves giving them a little jolt of FAFO to subdue them. 

According to The Washington Post, this new tool delivers a low-voltage charge to deal with unruly, screeching mobs of AWFLs and non-compliant criminals who are in America illegally: 

... The devices will be issued to officers and agents in DHS’s criminal investigative unit and Enforcement Removal Operations, which is responsible for arresting and removing people who are in the country unlawfully.

A page on the U.S. Army’s website describes the device as a rechargeable glove that upon contact “sends electrical pulses” that stimulate nerves under the skin, allowing an officer to “gain compliance in use of force scenarios.”

A DHS spokesperson said in a statement that ICE is “constantly assessing” its officers’ needs in the field “to ensure they have the tools and equipment necessary to safely arrest and remove criminal illegal aliens.”

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Grateful Calvin
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If this sounds pretty awesome to you, then you are not an unhinged leftist harpy, many of whom screamed on Twitter that the CTG-5 GLOVE (Generated Low Output Voltage Emitter) is, somehow, also fascism. 

Well, don't attack ICE agents and you won't be dragged down, punched, kicked, OR shocked. 

It's not rocket surgery. 

This is the same Chris Coons who thinks it's fine and dandy that illegals vote in American elections, so we're not going to pay much attention to his tantrum. 

No, sadistic and sick is letting illegals murder and sexually assault young women and not wanting to address that problem. 

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Die? From getting tased? 

Excuse us while we roll our eyes completely back into our heads. 

Of course, we expected this reaction from the left. They hate lethal enforcement against people who attack cops. They hate non-lethal enforcement as well. 

Basically, they just hate ANY enforcement. Because they hate America. 

Thankfully, everyone else on Twitter thought this was an outstanding new weapon against those who would destroy our country, and expressed their enthusiasm with some hilarious images and memes. 

HA! 

We know the Jacka** crew would love to field test the GLOVE ... on each other. 

Of course, there were plenty of Emperor Palpatine replies. 

We can't wait for some violent rioters to understand the true power of the ICE side. 

Ice (or ICE, if you will) and lightning together? 

Unstoppable! 

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There's something about Spider-Man and foes who love electricity. 

Looks like young Spidey learned a lesson or two about the power of The Shocker in his latest movie. 

Of course, other comic book characters are known for their sparky powers as well. 

ICE already has Superman in Dean Cain, but he can always use some help. 

YEEEEEEESSSSSS! 

(Uhh, don't worry. DHS will make sure the ED-209 actually works this time.)

OK, we'll take that, too. 

Despite the left melting down again about the latest weapon in ICE's arsenal to deliver the deportations America voted for, the lesson of the CTG-5 GLOVE is a very simple one. 

As the old GEICO commercials used to say, 'So easy, even a caveman can do it.' 

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Then again, most cavemen had far more brain power than the average leftist today. 

We're sure one of them will play the FA game soon against a federal officer with shock gloves. 

And you can bet your buns that we'll be there for the FO.

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