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You're Not the 51st State (Yet): Toronto Mayor Goes on Bizarre Rant Demanding ICE Stay Out of ... Canada?

Grateful Calvin
Grateful Calvin  |  8:20 AM on March 27, 2026


Whoo, boy. They're still not taking losing Olympic hockey gold to the US (ahem ... three times) very well up in the Not-So-Great White North, are they? 

Of course, in the city of Toronto, there is also the added humiliation that the Maple Leafs aren't even going to make the Stanley Cup playoffs this year, so maybe that explains the bizarre rant that the city's mayor, Olivia Chow, recorded yesterday, demanding that ICE is not welcome in her city ahead of the World Cup in North America.

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It's almost like Trump has already conquered Canada without a single shot being fired. Watch: 

Umm ... wut? 

Now, we have to provide some fairness here and point out that ICE's criminal investigation division, HSI, does have offices in several Canadian cities, including Toronto. This makes perfect sense, given Canada's proximity to the US, and there have never been any complaints from Toronto about this arrangement. 

But this is a far cry from what Chow is implying, that armed ICE agents are patrolling the Toronto airport -- or that anyone has even proposed such an idea. 

Well, not physically, anyway. But based on the hissy fit Chow threw, it seems like we have already annexed it in spirit. 

Then again, we probably shouldn't expect too much sanity from Mayor Chow, who also gave us whatever this performance was: 

Yikes. WTF was THAT? 

It makes us long for the days of Rob Ford, when Toronto's mayor was simply a crack addict and not a complete leftist nutbar.

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Oh, we're sure she does. And we are equally sure that no one wants to hear it. 

If only such a mythical law enforcement agency existed. 

Could it be to help them learn how NOT to land planes upside down? 

Even if President Trump hasn't invaded Canada (yet), it is still a conquered nation. 

Kind of like Spain. 

If there was any evidence needed that Canada should be annexed as a non-voting territory and not a full state, this is it. 

We're not sure that she knows she's the mayor. 

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There's something kind of perfect about the mayor of Canada's most prominent city speaking with a Chinese accent. 

(Though, to be fair, this is also a problem that the US has in places like Minnesota and New Jersey.)

Even fellow Canadians are hanging their heads in embarrassment. 

If you know Canadians, particularly those in Toronto, you know how much this kills them. 

At least a box of rocks theoretically has some purpose, unlike Chow.

HA. 

More likely, she knows who lives in her city, many of whom have no business being there. 

... ignorance of geography. It is a direct response to what her constituents have told her they are afraid of.

 In this context, Chow's video sounds a lot more like a confession than anything else. 

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For all intents and purposes, it would appear that we have, in fact, done it. 

But Chow, Torontoans, and all of Canada should cheer up about it. 

When they become a vassal territory of the US, they can at least say again that they live in a country that knows how to play hockey.

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