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Siddown, Spy Banger: Eric Swalwell Announces That 'It's Coming to an End' For Trump

Grateful Calvin
Grateful Calvin  |  9:40 AM on October 08, 2025


Oh, dear. 

It appears that Fang Fang's boy toy, the ever flatulent Eric Swalwell, wants us to take him seriously again, folks. 

Super-duper seriously. 

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While the entire political world is focused on deranged leftist violence, Antifa mobs attacking ICE agents, or the Schumer Shutdown and all of its associated sombreros, Swalwell wants the world to believe that he has the inside scoop on what House Republicans are thinking. 

And you'll never guess the conclusion he reached. 

Yep, that's right. The walls are closing in on Trump, and they've got him for sure ... THIS time. 

LOL. Get a load of this: 

Good Lord. This would be sad if it weren't so pathetic. 

Never mind that there is not a single House Republican who does anything but laugh in Swalwell's face, let alone 'confide' in him, the fact that he thinks he has Epstein news is almost as ridiculous as when he repeatedly said that he had 'Russia collusion' news. 

Honestly, the only reason to pay attention to the spy banger anymore is to enjoy how thoroughly everyone mocks him. 

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Short answer, yes. Long answer? Still yes. 

Short answer, no. Long answer? Still no. 

It's gonna be a long eleven years for Swalwell. Maybe the CCP will send him more cash in exchange for classified information so that he can muddle through it. 

When he's not recording cringe interviews about being 'surprised on the street' with a random question, you just know Swalwell spends most of his evenings in abject TERROR about what Kash Patel and Dan Bongino will reveal about his past. 

Zero. Exactly zero. 

And we only say zero because a negative number is impossible in this instance. 

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HA. 

That's a good point. Democrats can't go five minutes without running to any microphone they can find to screech 'FASCIST!' at President Trump. And Democrats totally abandoned the rule of law to prosecute Trump over the past four years. 

But in the case of the mythical Epstein files that none of them cared about until roughly five minutes ago, they're going to wait to drop that juuuuuuuust a little bit longer. 

If someone wanted to create a parody movie about someone with all of the worst attributes of any elected representative, they could simply cast Swalwell. No notes, no changes, and no embellishment required. 

Yep. He and Shifty Schiff. 

We're still waiting on all that evidence, by the way. 

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What, that doesn't sound reasonable? LOL. 

Bingo. 

Maybe that's because those 'walls' are always constructed of used tissue paper. 

Oh, the AWFLs are definitely slurping it up like a free box of Franzia. 

No one else is, though. 

Thanks. We almost forgot Swalwell's ONLY other claim to fame. 

We saved the best for last, however. From none other than our chainsaw-wielding managing editor, @PolitiBunny. 

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Ha. 

Hahaha. 

HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

There's a reason Sam is the best. 

Just like there are several very good reasons that sad, lying, pathetic, treasonous Eric Swalwell is the absolute worst. 

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