Earlier today, local Rio Grande Valley media outlets reported on an alleged kidnapping of a Border Patrol agent. Reputed Mexican cartel members apparently phoned in a threat.

In the latest development, the Border Patrol has issued a statement that doesn’t do much to provide reassurance.

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The local Border Patrol union has also issued a statement.

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All’s safe and sound in Hawaii, though, where President Sporty Spice is getting his game on while media lapdogs drool.