Oh, the humanity! How will we all ever survive such an untenable ordeal?! Hey, wait a minute …

Lapdog smack!

Still, givers totally feel for the turmoil journos must be facing:

Snort.

Giggling madly!

Twitter user @ExJon has had it with the pathetic sob stories.

Hey, it will stimulate the economy too! But, perhaps you had better hurry to get in line.

And this Twitter user brings it all home.

Get it now, Mr. Russert?