Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld is a giver. He live-tweeted the Oscars, so you didn’t have to watch. And, no worries, there is still time to catch up this morning: Take it away, Gutfeld!
Daniel Radcliffe is British? How did I miss this?
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Fun fact: if you took all the Oscar dresses and laid them end to end, you'd have a lot of naked ladies yelling at you.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
what i'd wear at the oscars: http://t.co/43DpeoRzvS
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Damn, the line to the bathroom is ridiculous. And the pricewaterhouse accountants are throwing up all over the place.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
you know what's inside the box? Tom Cruise
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
About to sit down, if John Goodman would move his fat ass.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Renee Zelwegger looks positively squinty tonight.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
He wasn’t alone there! Many Twitter users noticed Renee’s odd squintiness.
@danavachon i just see peter brady.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
We Saw Your Boobs. You cannot hate that.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
So the awards is about the host!
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Score so far: Magic Mike O for one.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
How did this little piece of crap beat Magic Mike?
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
DIdn't he die in Die Hard?
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Ran into Jennifer Lawrence in the lobby. Things are still kinda awkward. Glad she's moved on.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Anna Karenina didn't have male strippers. #thisisbs
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
How Channing Tatum doesn't just beat the crap out of everybody is beyond me.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Fun fact – Ruth Buzzi plays guitar on the James Bond theme.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
My favorite James Bond was Ryan Phillippe in Golden Diamond Raw
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Later she says the valet, "gooold lexxuusss"
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Kyle Chandler was in a lot of movies. But not in Magic Mike. Coincidence?
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
left my seat to hit the john. Ran into Halle. She said "long time." She was about to lean in, but i stopped her. it's over. its been over
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Embarrassing for Halle really. I wish her all the best though. It was just the wrong time for both of us.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Next up: the main music numbers.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Nobody ever takes their dad to the oscars because everyone just assumes it's your older boyfriend.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
@kimguilfoyle what are you watching?
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Why do all 50 year old men in Hollywood have hair like 50 year old women.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
I'm done. You win, Oscars. #nomagicmike
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
How come #pleasekillme isn't trending?
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
The cruise ship commercial reminds me of another vehicle full of excrement.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Someone better hold onto Renee
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
I thought Life of Pi was the story of (insert fat person's name here)
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
We know, we have HBO RT @billmaher: Memo to stars: HDTV is not your friend, hash tag Meow!!
— andy levy (@andylevy) February 25, 2013
Tip from insider says #MagicMike gets Best Pic due to huge write-in campaign.
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
#Oscars double shark jump for both the movies and the presidency.
— walter kirn (@walterkirn) February 25, 2013
Indeed. As Twitchy reported, Michelle Obama announced the best picture winner.
Affleck is definitely "on."
— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) February 25, 2013
Always on? Greg Gutfeld. Same time next year, toots? We’ll be waiting.