Every Memorial Day, I honor my Uncle Ken, a devoted follower of Christ, a gifted gospel singer, a brilliant man who mastered Vietnamese, an Army Ranger, a Major, a loving husband, and a father of four. On July 23, 1970, he was killed in action in Vietnam, forever altering our family’s path. My mother, then 16, had been staying with her sister’s family in Orlando, helping care for her young nieces and nephew during the summer while Uncle Ken was deployed. My grandparents, busy with their ministry at a small church in Florida, sent my mother to assist, and she embraced the role with joy. Orlando was vibrant, its larger church buzzing with young people. She was thriving, making new friends—and meeting my father, her future husband—when the dreaded military car arrived. The house had large front windows, and when my mother saw the car, she rushed to close the curtains, hoping to shield her sister from the truth. Despite her efforts, my aunt saw it too and pleaded with my mother not to open the door, as if refusing entry could deny the reality. But they had to face it. When my mother opened the door, my aunt begged the officers to say Uncle Ken was alive, even if gravely injured. Their solemn response—that they could not—shattered her. My aunt’s guttural scream marked the moment their lives changed forever. She became a widow, and my mother, unable to return home, stayed in Orlando to help raise four children under five. Soon, my other Uncle would leave the military and come to live with his two sisters, as well. It became a group effort to help take care of the children this war left behind. This is the reality of war: it may end, but its consequences for families endure forever.
Major Kenneth Paul Tanner
— Just Mindy 🐊 (@just_mindy) May 26, 2025
KIA - July 23, 1970
101st Airborne Division, 2nd Battalion, 506th Infantry, Headquarters Company
Left behind my Aunt Betty and four children.
It’s a long weekend because it’s a long life without him. pic.twitter.com/FuyZwGHUcw
On 21 July, just one month after Father’s Day, I
and other men from the rear area were gathered up to
be airlifted onto Ripcord as reinforcements. We tried
to land but were unable to because of intense enemy
fire. We returned to Evans. We tried a second time a
few hours later, and encountered the same problem with
51cal fire and incoming rounds. We finally arrived on
Ripcord at 2130hrs (9pm) after the helicopters turned
off their lights, so the NVA gunners could not see us
as well. I had been praying not to die that day because
it was my little brother’s birthday and that date would
be a future reminder of my death. Our group remained
on the firebase that night, the 22nd and left during the
extraction the 23rd. We had helped gather equipment
into cargo nets for removal at dawn. First, everything
had to be removed. Then the soldiers would leave. All
this while under mortar and artillery fire. I witnessed
the incoming round that killed PFC Gus Allen, Major
Kenneth Tanner and Lt. Colonel Andre Lucas. The
base and the landing zones were ablaze so helicopters
hovered briefly over some bunkers and we took turns
leaving. Back at Evans, we consoled each other and
went back to our company areas. I went over to Alpha to
see my friends and check on their condition after their
battle on the 22nd. That was extremely hard on me to
know they had 14 KIA and all but 6 wounded. I had
been dodging mortar rounds on Ripcord and not helping
Alpha.
My mother is stoic, yet even after 55 years, she cannot speak of that day without breaking down. Her sister, my aunt, endured unimaginable tragedies: the loss of her husband, one of her children, two grandchildren in a car accident, and another grandchild to stillbirth. She faced more grief than any one person should bear, knowing loss intimately. Now in heaven, reunited with her husband, we find comfort knowing they have found perfect peace. I’ve witnessed the lasting heartache war brings to families like mine. This is why I believe America must avoid war at all costs, but when it is unavoidable, there must be a clear plan to win decisively and swiftly. The Vietnam War was a disservice to the men and women who served; the government’s actions were disrespectful, and the hostility they faced upon returning home remains a stain on our nation’s history. Those heroes deserved better from their government and their fellow Americans.
It's a long weekend because it is a long life without him. On this day, let us honor and remember the brave men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country. Let’s also commit to advocating for national policies that avoid unnecessary wars, the most meaningful way to honor the families left behind and prevent creating more.
