Gasp! Fashion emergency! Anyone who’s anyone will be wearing red while the Chicago Teachers Union strikes.

What’s a dedicated, fashion-conscious union member to do if labor organizers won’t kick in free red t-shirts? They can’t be caught dead in any old rags. After all, it’s For the Children™.

Time to shop ’til they drop or their $76,000 a year salary makes ’em stop!

Stylish and practical!

Hey, since all these poverty-stricken teachers with hearts of gold seem to have emergency mall cash on hand, Dennis Miller has a suggestion: