Need a quick from politics Twitter? Well then, we have just the thread for you.
Meet S*ithead, the zombie hamster, who came back from the dead (allegedly). . .
1. First up, “S*ithead” is more of a nickname than the rodent’s actual name (is a hamster a rodent?):
THREAD: This morning, after not even 24 hours in our home, the newly acquired hamster was found dead in his cage. He didn't have a name yet, but Shithead was bandied about due to his proclivity for getting his own waste stuck to his head. (1/5)
— Rob Glover (@robglover2009) April 29, 2020
2. They had a funeral for the hamster, because that’s what you do:
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Our hamster pal was packed in a box, a grave was dug in the garden, and after a quiet, respectful ceremony, he was laid to rest. (2/5)
— Rob Glover (@robglover2009) April 29, 2020
3. WTF:
Ya'll…THE HAMSTER WAS NOT DEAD. A few hours later, a VERY disoriented and VERY perturbed hamster emerged zombified from his hamster grave. MUCH to the consternation of the dog, a rat terrier, whose evolutionary wiring is to swiftly kill such creatures. (3/5)
— Rob Glover (@robglover2009) April 29, 2020
4. We surprised the neighborhood Karen didn’t report this:
An exchange ensued that probably had the neighbors standing at the window with a 9-1 dialed on their phone just waiting to press the last digit ("IT'S NOT DEAD! WE DIDN'T KILL IT! IT CLIMBED OUT OF ITS GRAVE! ZOMBIES!"). (4/5)
— Rob Glover (@robglover2009) April 29, 2020
5. Real question here: Why did they think it was dead? Did they even check?
Anyway–now he's back in his hamster hotel. Alive. Safe from the dog. We're very sorry we buried you alive, Shithead.
-fin- (5/5)
— Rob Glover (@robglover2009) April 29, 2020
And since this is Twitter, we’ll end it with a “big, if true” warning. But it’s funny nonetheless.
Now back to Joe Biden, Alyssa Milano and our usual cast of characters. . .
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