House Dems released their 591-page Covid-relief bill on Friday. . .
House Democrats release 591-page covid relief plan that they plan to push through their chamber next week.
Bill text: https://t.co/nrWt6cVs9y
Summary: https://t.co/Ux172sknfj
— Manu Raju (@mkraju) February 19, 2021
. . .and here’s @Oilfield_Rando breaking it down as he’s done in the past:
They could have at least waited til I was done working out. https://t.co/fue3jk1MU2 pic.twitter.com/xf4QYeQXUj
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
$300,000,000 for the WHO? Sure, why not:
$300,000,000 for COVID animal surveillance as guided by the World Organization for Animal Health.
As godawful as the WHO is, can’t imagine what a derp fest these folks will be pic.twitter.com/aZ915EMhhr
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
Debt relief for “socially disadvantaged” farmer and ranchers:
I was today years old when I learned what a “socially disadvantaged farmer or rancher” was: “farmers and ranchers who have experienced barriers to service due to racial or ethnic prejudice”
Anyway, we gonna pay off 120% of their debt, and “alleviate discriminatory barriers” pic.twitter.com/4aSM7VyrKg
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
And a billion dollars to reach out to them:
A cool billion for outreach programs for the “socially disadvantaged farmers and ranchers”.
If you wanna host some conferences to tell minority farmers how to overcome systemic racism, you’s about to get PAID pic.twitter.com/MbEatRUVIB
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
$25 million for the Secretary of Agriculture to modernize its equipment:
$25,000,000 for the Ag Secretary to spend on modernizing electronic services.
Gonna be a whole lot more folks on food stamps, reckon we gotta make the website prettier pic.twitter.com/B4fCNRdC0f
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
Ka-ching for the teacher unions!
Another $128.5 BILLION for the teachers unions to play with while they refuse to reopen schools.
Add that to the $60 billion sitting untouched. Them playgrounds better look like Disneyworld pic.twitter.com/tAUgsqAMBf
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
Recommended
And “almost $40 BILLION more for universities”:
Almost $40 BILLION more for the universities. Some of you remember when I dove into the CARES Act Relief for them, I can’t wait to see how preposterous the payouts to these billion dollar endowment adult day care centers are lol pic.twitter.com/tMkQ6ElNiB
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
Why do they need $91 million for “outreach to student loan borrowers”?
$19.25 million for Gaullaudet
$35 million for Howard UniversityAnd $91 million for outreach to student loan borrowers, domestically AND INTERNATIONALLY? pic.twitter.com/GCjzTNItmT
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
More pork for the Department of Education:
Another $100 million for the Institute of Educational Sciences, and another $15,000,000 for the Dept of Ed just for domestic and international funsies of some sort pic.twitter.com/IQb17PNtJ9
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
A hundred million here, a hundred million there starts to add up:
$135,000,000 for the National Endowment for the Arts
$135,000,000 for the National Endowment of the Humanities.
Every. F**king. Time. With. This. pic.twitter.com/f9mCjJEshO
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
How is this related at all to Covid relief?
$200,000,000 for the Institute of Museum and Library Services.
$10,000,000 for the Preservation of Native American languages.
I’m actually LOLing at this point pic.twitter.com/Zk02v1WvOD
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
And here’s the minimum wage language:
Welp there it is. Raising the federal minimum wage. You knew this bullshit was coming. pic.twitter.com/DdFuA1E2DZ
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
They’re going after the tipped wage, too:
Aaaaaaand the tipped wage. Why not totally use a relief bill go completely upend all these businesses trying to barely hang on. Perfectly on brand for these folks pic.twitter.com/NVpdP1AdHp
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
Unbelievable:
$150,000,000 for MSHA, OSHA, and all the other feds that come to your business to break your balls.
“Relief” Bill! pic.twitter.com/0kYRoAASOq
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
This one might make sense?
$276,000,000 for Aging and Disability Services
$1,444,000,000 for supporting Older Americans and their Families
Direct payments way too complicated, gotta funnel all this money through the bureaucracies pic.twitter.com/VHEayk9QcS
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
$15 billion for Child Care and Development block grants:
$15 billion Child Care and Development block grant. Wowza. pic.twitter.com/AooTVC5k9W
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
$4.5 billion to help with utility bills:
$4.5 billion to pay the power/gas bills for public housing. May not be enough considering how high this admin wants to make them pic.twitter.com/USTwtkdHXN
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
And nearly a billion for whatever this agency does:
Another $852,000,000 for the Corporation for national and community service. How many hundreds of millions did they get in the last Bill? pic.twitter.com/LNMbVntjmk
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
Narrator: No, in fact, Dems were not kidding:
$73,000,000 just for their administrative costs and $9,000,000 for their inspector general lol ayfkm bro? pic.twitter.com/CsWu4ytpq3
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
Just don’t let Dr. Fauci anywhere near this project:
$1,000,000,000 to tell people that the vaccine isn’t going to turn them into a lizard person.
Simply incredible. A straight up slush fund for PR firms pic.twitter.com/jyreu99e7q
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
$750 million going overseas:
More taxpayer money headed abroad. $750,000,000 to be exact.
Very cool to see while receiving $0 in relief while unemployed.
Also another $500,000,000 for upgrading the CDC’s public health surveillance capabilities. Creepy. pic.twitter.com/4gc4ePcj8K
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
A well-earned bourbon!
Ugh thought I’d make it halfway through before I needed it but it’s time for bourbon. Think I’ll just pour it in my protein shake.
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
And he’s back:
$250,000,000 for STRIKE TEAMS THAT DEPLOY TO COVID HOSPITALS
Sounds like they’re gonna smash through the windows with MP5’s and just start blasting lol pic.twitter.com/yMlgiIK5Ls
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
What’s another $100 million? Just add it to the pile:
Oh wow. This is precious.
$100,000,000 for the EPA to address “health outcome disparities from pollution and the COVID pandemic”
Critical race theory is a plague that has infected absolutely everything pic.twitter.com/PmeiGCg3zi
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
$50 million for “environmental justice” iniatives:
$50,000,000 for “environmental justice” and “tackling the climate crisis”
$50,000,000 for the clean air act.
Hi @GOPLeader, @LeaderMcConnell, Biden asked you to tell him what to take out, maybe you feckless turds can start here? pic.twitter.com/4K1A5aaKDH
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
More details on this one, please:
$100,000,000 for rural housing assistance
$750,000,000 for Native American Housing assistance
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
And on this one, too:
The $10 billion Homeowner Assistance Fund is going to pay for a whoooooole lotta sh*t, and run all the way into 2025.
We’re simply not a capitalist country anymore. Accept that. I don’t know what to call it. pic.twitter.com/NdLgB0kkWV
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
Hey, it costs a lot of money to spend this much money:
Lmfao this behemoth has $40,000,000 allocated for just administrative costs. Amazeballs pic.twitter.com/zxEUQY8LFv
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
Critical Race Theory is “taking over everything”:
Another CRT-driven $1.5 BILLION for “businesses owned and controlled by socially and economically disadvantaged individuals”
Normies, I love you, but you gotta get your heads out of your asses. Critical Race Theory isn’t just some dumb work training, it’s taking over everything pic.twitter.com/40ellnPOvQ
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
$$$$$$$$$$$$:
Another $1 billion for the same sh*t, right after. They’re just rubbing it in our faces. pic.twitter.com/QcvWhjhSId
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
Who’s ready for even more money for airlines?
FIFTEEN BILLION for airlines.
We bail out the airline workers, but not the people who give them fuel. Absolute horsesh*t. pic.twitter.com/W6oyLDzcBs
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
The blue-state bailout is in here, too:
Drum roll please, here comes the blue state bailout……..
$219,800,000,000 for states that drove themselves into the ground with onerous lockdowns, ridiculous pension programs, and unjustifiable government salaries. pic.twitter.com/d4GAippbB2
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
And, please, take a moment to think about the poor federal workers:
$570,000,000 for Emergency Federal Employee leave.
The System takes care of its cogs. pic.twitter.com/REt6j8lYwg
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
More money for admin costs:
The Government Accountability Office is getting $77 million to make sure all these slush funds and graft are ethically dispersed.
I feel way better now. pic.twitter.com/R9qI5OEfbj
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
Again, shouldn’t this money go directly to the unemployed people?
$1.25 billion for shuttered venue operators.
Does this mean $AMC is getting a cash infusion? ???? pic.twitter.com/O9J02l6inH
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
At least it’s only $1.5 million:
It cracks me up that the Great Lakes St Lawrence Seaway Development Corporation makes it into all of these bills.
$1.5 million this time lol pic.twitter.com/5K870zsQg4
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
OF COURSE, Dems put this in there:
RAILROAD BAILOUT MONEY!
Northeast corridor: $820 million
National Network: $680 million
Long distance svc restoration: $166 millionChoo chooooooooo! pic.twitter.com/bh0qhkUGTF
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
$30 billion in Federal Transit Administration grants:
$30 billion for FTA grants.
THIRTY FRIKKING BILLION pic.twitter.com/bvJFTuT9Cw
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
$8 billion for airports:
$8 billion for airports, half of what the airlines got. That sh*t better be clean as a whistle pic.twitter.com/oMSSQmiioM
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
$3 billion for airplane manufacturers:
$3 billion to bail out the airplane manufacturers.
Sweet, sweet union money that Democrats will get a piece of through campaign contributions.
What a system we have. pic.twitter.com/5dBqCXbRL4
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
And:
$28 billion for the Railroad retirement board. Every bill. pic.twitter.com/EbDYjVU3Sj
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
And regular people get $1400:
STIMMY STIMMY BOOM BOOM, BIDEN CHECKS OF $1400!! pic.twitter.com/tPmYtl7zRN
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
“DC is straight trash”:
Alright the rest is blah tax credits.
Same crap as usual, just hit hyperspace with critical race theory discrimination.
DC is straight trash. Ima finish my drink and read something less depressing.
— Oilfield Rando (@Oilfield_Rando) February 19, 2021
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