Columbia Protest Leader's Statement/Backpedal After Saying Jews Don't Deserve to Live a Le...
WH Aides Reportedly Have a Solution to Troubling Optic of Biden Shuffling Alone...
Who Team Biden Is Bringing in to 'Tell the President's Story' at the...
WATCH: Columbia Student Protest Leader Says Israel Supporters 'Don't Deserve to Live'
It was the RUSSIANS, Adam! Adam Schiff ROBBED in San Francisco and What...
Maybe the Supreme Court Should ‘Take a Walk:’ A Deep Dive Into Thursday’s...
President Biden's Commencement Speech at Morehouse Proving Problematic
NYPD Chief of Patrol Rebuts AOC's Anti-Cop Rant - Twitter (X) Loves It
Um, WOW: Resurfaced Kirstie Alley Interview About Parents' Car Accident Has X Asking...
If Students Had Pro-Israel Encampments, Would You Still Support the Police?
Satire Site 'The Onion' Has New Ownership Well Qualified to Publish Fake News
Rep. Ilhan Omar and Her Homeless, Starving Daughter Meet With Columbia Pro-Hamas Mob
Iran’s Supreme Leader Issues Statement of Support for Pro-Hamas Protesters
Terrorists Attack Joe Biden's Temporary Pier to Bring Aid to Palestinians
WATCH: Jewish NYU Professor SMACKS DOWN Campus Protest Hypocrisy

Moby may have sexually assaulted Donald Trump, but he was 'very drunk and high at the time' so he's not '100% sure it actually happened'

The Daily Beast ran an excerpt from singer Moby’s new memoir and it included this bit where he admitted that he may have sexually assaulted Donald Trump:

Advertisement

But he was “very drunk and high at the time,” so it may not have actually happened:

The degeneracy in this story was in the baffling/gilded category, with the aforementioned helicopter to Staten Island and a generic product launch party wherein I was dared to brush my drunken, flaccid penis up against Donald Trump’s suit jacket. Although, in the spirit of alcoholic disclosure, my caveat is this: as I was very drunk and high at the time I’m still not 100% sure it actually happened.

I drank a shot of vodka to brace myself, pulled my flaccid penis out of my pants, and casually walked past Trump, trying to brush the edge of his jacket with my penis. Luckily he didn’t seem to notice or even twitch.

I walked back to my friends and ordered another drink. “Did you do it?” Clarice asked.

“I think so. I think I knob-touched Donald Trump.”

You see, Moby was shaken up by 9/11, which he dealt with by getting drunk and rubbing his exposed genitals on people he didn’t like:

After September 11, 2001, the only way in which I knew how to process my grief was to stay drunk, do as many drugs as possible, and throw myself into whatever degeneracy flowed out of New York’s perpetually degenerate spigot. Sometimes the degeneracy was gritty and old school—cheap drugs in dive bars and sex in tetanus-y bathrooms. And sometimes the degeneracy was gilded—helicopters to Staten Island and parties with billionaires.

Advertisement

If you recall, Moby also once claimed that he had evidence that the now discredited Steele dossier was “100% real” and that President Trump was “being blackmailed by the Russian government, not just for being peed on by Russian hookers, but for much more nefarious things”:

And now we’ll go back to ignoring anything Moby says.

***

Related:

 

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement