Scott Mann, who is a Conservative Member of Parliament who represents North Cornwall, UK in the House of Commons has an idea on how to finally stop knife crime: GPS trackers in “every knife sold,” with an exception for fishing, of course:
Every knife sold in the UK should have a gps tracker fitted in the handle. It’s time we had a national database like we do with guns. If you’re carrying it around you had better have a bloody good explanation, obvious exemptions for fishing etc.
— Scott Mann (@scottmann4NC) March 14, 2019
No, apparently it’s not a parody:
Is this parody? https://t.co/iNNMCpmdj3
— Stephen Gutowski (@StephenGutowski) March 14, 2019
You suck so much https://t.co/E2fdgJsH5t
— Kurt Schlichter (@KurtSchlichter) March 14, 2019
And how exactly would this work once a knife crime was committed?
"There's been a stabbing"
"Quick, get me the GPS tracking for every knife in a 3 mile radius"
"OK, it says there are 120,000 of them, mostly in kitchens"
"Bollocks, thought we had them then"
"Could ask those young lads with the machete"
"Nah, they've got a mackerel, been fishing"
— Mike McKinley (@MikeMckinley) March 14, 2019
This is the future they want:
I've got this folks… pic.twitter.com/BeWCjOOm94
— Matt Buckland (@ElSatanico) March 14, 2019
Not to mention the cost of this future:
Yeah, it’ll be great when buying cutlery costs £800 a set because some dweeb wants them to include a sat nav in the handle. Fix up immediately.
— Be Well (@SkipperAFC) March 14, 2019
Or maybe just put a chip in the really dangerous knives:
Maybe just limit it to semiautomatic assault knives
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) March 14, 2019
Hear me out, Scott; listening devices on screwdrivers.
— Jonny Sharples (@JonnyGabriel) March 14, 2019