NAILED IT! The Babylon Bee takes on London knife ban with HILARIOUS results

In response to yesterday’s news that cops all over Britain were searching in the bushes for old tools that might be used as weapons… which we mean literally searching the bushes:

Officers have been conducting weapons sweeps this morning in an attempt to tackle the rise in #knifecrime. #gibbsgreen #westmensington #opsceptre pic.twitter.com/b5JprZWekr

— North End Police (@MPSNorthEndFH) April 8, 2018

…and:

Found hidden and partially buried by officers on the funded Fulham Broadway team today whilst conducting weapons sweeps. #opsceptre #mopedcrime #weaponssweep #hidden pic.twitter.com/vaOnTsaUVa

— North End Police (@MPSNorthEndFH) April 8, 2018

…the satirical Babylon Bee was on point with these two stories mocking what’s going on.

First up, London Mayor Sadiq Khan will “ban hands” in order to stop fistfights:

In Response To Growing Number Of Fistfights, London Mayor Bans Hands https://t.co/qs1muykEnZ pic.twitter.com/aaZwF3YfTp

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) April 9, 2018

This is probably next:

This is undoubtedly next. https://t.co/hGNWUdzWZe

— Gayle (@TicketyBuu) April 10, 2018

this is about 6 mths from not being parody… https://t.co/sOqsEUquei

— Andrew Donaldson (@four4thefire) April 9, 2018

But don’t give them any ideas:

I'm so excited to learn what else can be banned after hands! https://t.co/TuaAn1PWxr

— Malachy (@malachy) April 10, 2018

Recommended

Don Lemon Better Pray He Didn’t Violate Members’ Civil Rights While Disrupting Church Service Over ICE

Warren Squire

Advertisement

Goodbye arms!

Teeth, elbows, and knees soon to follow! https://t.co/vcCIyRJ8KL

— RH Sibley (@rhsibley) April 9, 2018

And then there’s this one, which could be actually be true:

Toddler Brandishing Play-Doh Pocketknife Apprehended By UK Police https://t.co/NU7ZgVMIo1 pic.twitter.com/KMhAzWIne6

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) April 9, 2018

Like this really could happen in a school in America:

I don't believe this is satire but tomorrow's news. https://t.co/a0OigXklw4

— Mrs K (@Nicola_Karasek) April 10, 2018

Remember the pop-tart gun? The banning of the Play-Doh multitool can’t be far behind:

Remember the Pop-Tart gun kid? A judge just upheld his suspension. https://t.co/GgdPs01iIW

— reason (@reason) June 17, 2016

***

Related:

OMG: Take a look at these 'weapons' found by British police during a sweep https://t.co/XeB9CPaCA8

— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) April 9, 2018