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Discount Store Elizabeth Warren Will Save Us From Greedy Potato Chip Corporations

Matt Rourke

There's a war in Ukraine and Israel, a crisis at the border and we're facing trillions in debt. But did you know that Big Potato Chip is robbing the good people of New Jersey?

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Yes, New Jersey Representative Mikie Sherrill has the finger on the pulse of the man on the street and what really bothers him is ... wait for it ... air in potato chip bags! 

Wipe the crumbs off your wifebeater tank top, get your butt out of your EZ-Boy recliner and grab your muskets, boys! We're gonna take on shrinkflation. (insert eyeroll gif here).

As laughable as this is, Rep. Sherrill is taking a page out of Senator Elizabeth Warren's, and to a lesser extent, Bernie Sanders' playbook. The script: "Big ____ is robbing you and we're here to make them pay!"

It gives off a certain "let them eat Doritos" vibe as our political class are busy raiding our treasury and literally throwing us the crumbs.

So grab your Baked Lays and enjoy the ruthless and well deserved mockery that ensued.

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First the facts. Not only is the pandering silly, it's wrong. But Congresscritters are as stupid as they think we are.

You know what goes with your favorite salty snack? That's right, economic truth. And maybe a cold beer.

We could end the post here. But then you'd miss out on some real gems.

Speaking of salty.

"I don't get it."

- Rep Sherrill (D)

Chips and circuses will keep the masses happy while we finance Ukrainian oligarchs' French Riviera mansions. But have you had Funyons? OMG!

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Protip: your chances of being included in a Twitchy post goes up 32% when you use the phrase "lawn flamingo".

Disappointed, ripped off or crunchy?

The three legged stool of the Democratic platform: abortion, gender confusion and shrinkflation.

Dayum! With that, let's leave it there.

***

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