Scene: In the CBS digital newsroom. The room is filled with producers and reporters.
Producer: We have another important press release on the climate crisis. How are we going to raise awareness?
Lackey 1: How about wed the story with the current hot thing?
P: I'm listening.
Lackey 2: Hey, 'Oppenheimer' is out! The atomic bomb was hot, how about how climate change is like the bomb?
P: I like it. But. We already have a piece linking the atomic bomb to white supremacy.
L 1: I got it! The railroad chemical fires!
P: That was like three months ago. Our viewers have a real short attention span. Something more current.
L 2: ... uh ... Barbie?
P: YES! The movie is going gangbusters. It's hot hot! HOT! How about how her Malibu home would be in real trouble if it were real life?
L 1: Isn't that a bit ... silly? Don't you think it might insult our viewers intelligence?
L 2: ---
P: ---
All: (Burst out laughing) They're reading CBS News content, right?
Well, that's how we imagined how this piece was conceived and executed.
Barbie's Malibu Dreamhouse would need to be redesigned to survive as California gets even warmer. Here's how. https://t.co/MYVTSeH7qU
— CBS News (@CBSNews) July 24, 2023
How else would such genius content like this make its way to national news?
California, where Barbie's home is based, has been facing an onslaught of brutal weather over the past year – severe drought that encapsulated the majority of the state, back-to-back deadly atmospheric rivers that caused massive floods, and now, extreme heat. And these are problems that aren't going away anytime soon. As humans continue to heavily burn fossil fuels, the gases emitted in that process will continue to fill the atmosphere, trapping the heat from the sun and turning Barbie's Dreamhouse into an Easy Bake Oven.
Yes, they're using a make believe house, made from petroleum based plastic in China - that super eco-conscious nation to make sell climate alarmism. Alarmism that will make your empowered, independent daughter collapse in tears of fear and dread. Fortunately, Twitter wasn't buying it.
Next, @CBS will do a story about Barbie melting. @KCOnTheRadio @HayesForSheriff https://t.co/PsBE3UKzZI pic.twitter.com/eRTZOPcC55
— Just Donna (@Crypsis12) July 24, 2023
The crisis is real!
Let’s just crowbar in that climate change narrative https://t.co/blRN68ed7F
— Marquette_g (@Marquette_g) July 24, 2023
The best minds.
https://t.co/CXKmbTInXr pic.twitter.com/mtDl9oW5xC
— Rex Ratio (Official) (@vermontaigne) July 24, 2023
Yes, us too.
The Holy Grail of woke propaganda silliness right here folks…🤦🏻♂️
— PilRoberts CommonSenseConservative Pronoun: Fa/cts (@PilRoberts) July 24, 2023
Close. But you need to wedge in 'structural racism' to complete the trifecta.
Is the house ADA compliant?
— Brian Commeans (@briancommeans) July 24, 2023
Because she will get hit with a lawsuit.
Good point. Malibu Barbie's real problem is California's prohibitive real estate prices, ridiculous regulations and its NIMBY culture in wealthy progressive neighborhoods.
Lol... Thank you for addressing my concerns on how climate change affects toys...
— Sebastian Balos (@SebastianBalos) July 24, 2023
And that's a wrap.
***
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