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Whiner-In-Chief: Biden Wants the Press to Report the Economy the 'Right Way'

Fuzzy Chimp

Poll after poll shows that Americans are unhappy with the U.S. economy under the high-inflation governance of President Joe Biden.

Why do Americans like you and your families negatively view the economy? According to a recent off-hand comment by the vacant stare behind America's economic woes, the media's reporting of the economy is the real problem.

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Imagine telling Americans the press is the reason they're not feeling so good about the economy as you hop on a plane for Christmas in Camp David (that sounds like the title of a Hallmark Christmas movie we don't want to watch).

Asked what his outlook on the economy was for next year as he scurried to Camp David for Christmas, the president insisted it was 'all good'.

'Take a look. Start reporting it the right way,' he told reporters as he left the White House on Christmas morning.

Phew! Relax everybody! Everything is 'all good'.

So what exactly is the 'right way' to report Joe Biden's economy?

Yep, that's what he means.

'Report the economy the way I want you to report it, minions!'

Sure, he made the comment in his typical Bidenesque chucklehead style. 'Hey, I'm going to criticize you now while laughing with a grin on my face, because I'm just friendly Old Joe. This is not hyperbole.'

The brash rendering of his comment is simply 'Fake News!'. We remember when it was a threat to democracy to say such things.

Ha! That would have been the line when Trump was president.

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'Despite dismal forecasts by leading economic experts and polls indicating Americans have a poor view of the economy, President Trump's authoritarian tendencies surfaced this morning as he falsely accused the media of misreporting the state of the American economy.'

You know we're right.

The Babylon Bee does have a tendency to be prophetic.

Imagine the dictatorship of Joe Biden. Sandbag handlers would be thrown into gulags, the First Cavalry would be renamed the 'Dog-Faced Pony Soldiers', the government would seize control of the production of pudding cups, and ice cream would become a treat only available to the aristocracy.

These are, of course, just jokes and Biden is largely just whining about press reporting, but it's no joke that Biden is actually doing things that would reduce Rob Reiner to a weeping puddle of 'lost democracy' doom if Trump were president.

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The weaponization of the DOJ against Trump, the unreasonably harsh sentence of J6 offenders, vaccine mandates, and efforts to remove Trump as a choice from supposedly democratic elections are all a much greater threat to our freedom than anything these folks caterwauled about when Trump sat in the Oval Office.

Because this is the (D)emocracy they want.

Biden's authoritarian tendencies aside, the President's real problem here is that the media can't cover up what people see with their own eyes.

Don't get us wrong, they'd do it in a heartbeat if they could, but they can't intercept your receipts at the grocery store.

Bingo.

Shut up and take it, folks. Dear Leader has everything under control.

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He made everything really bad early in his presidency, and now they've slightly improved. You should praise him for being worse off than you were four years ago because you're better off than you were 1 year ago.

Nah.

There are. The numbers reveal why people feel the way they do about the economy. It's not because of media reporting.

Income adjusted for inflation fell a little more than one per cent since he took over, and at the same point in Trump's presidency they were three per cent higher.

He's blaming you. You'd see how great things are if you weren't stupidly being duped by the media, Jack!

In reality, media outlets already tried to fall in line. Again, it's hard to lie about something as tangible to the average person as the amount of money they're spending on goods.

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Over the past few weeks, outlets from the New York Times to the Washington Post, CBS, Los Angeles Times, and even the Wall Street Journal all noted the underlying economy was in great shape, but voters were still gloomy about it.

We've already seen our fair share of 'the economy is not Joe Biden's fault' articles. It's not working.

See?

Correct. He doesn't want the economy reported the 'right way'. He wants it reported incorrectly because the truth hurts him.

***

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