The general freakout over Twitter blue checks continued today, especially after Elon Musk reinstated blue checks for accounts with over 1 million followers. The latest hilarity comes from blue check holders feeling the need to assure the other Musk-loathing lemmings that they did not pay for Twitter Blue.
It looks something like this:
— J Gardner 🇺🇲🐊 (@jngpic) April 23, 2023
For those uninitiated in memery, the stone-faced characters above are referred to as ‘NPCs’, or ‘Non-Player Characters’. These are the characters in video games that aren’t controlled by the player and often repeat the same lines over, and over, and over again.
The joke is often applied to situations like this blue check madness when hordes of unthinking people follow the crowd and dutifully recite the approve lines.
In this case the lines are something like:
‘I have not paid for Twitter Blue, and I never will.’
Just for the record, I have not subscribed to Twitter, blue, nor will I ever. Dear Elon: Creepy people do creepy things. Best regards, Ron. pic.twitter.com/V3SHMFUy4W
— Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) April 23, 2023
Good for you, Ron, but you might want to think twice before calling other people creepy.
I think you’re an imperfect messenger for the “creepy people do creepy things” message Ron pic.twitter.com/JxgUrfOfeS
— Enguerrand VII de Coucy (@ingelramdecoucy) April 23, 2023
Yuck!
— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) April 23, 2023
Poor guy. LOL.
Any news on this?https://t.co/EG3QBA0ab9 pic.twitter.com/9nicyD4jqS
— PhotographicFloridian (@JackLinFLL) April 23, 2023
Bwahaha! Ron quit Twitter last October.
I am so sorry to anyone who thinks I paid for twitter blue and that I caved in. I did not. If my cringe mark comes back it's because twitter put it there. I will change my name if that happens again to have it taken off again. I refuse to give Elon a single cent.
— David Hogg 🟧 (@davidhogg111) April 23, 2023
David Hogg is literally out here apologizing to people who thinks he paid $8 a month for the platform he rants on every day.
You can’t make this stuff up.
Like it or not, you’re giving Elon money with every tweet you make, every scroll you take. So quit pretending you won’t give Elon a single cent.
Deleting your account is the only way to make that be true. I double dog dare ya to put your supposed principles where your mouth is.
— Don’t Be Ignorant (@dontbei) April 23, 2023
Yes, go to Mastodon. LOL!
— I Meme Therefore I Am 🇺🇸 (@ImMeme0) April 23, 2023
LOL.
I did not subscribe to Twitter Blue. I would never.
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) April 23, 2023
He would never! Beep boop, message delivered.
Musk trolling Democrats into promoting Twitter is … pic.twitter.com/CtqZYyurEp
— Paul A. Szypula 🇺🇸 (@Bubblebathgirl) April 23, 2023
We’re not done being amused yet.
So week my #BlueCheckMark was removed, since I did not, and would never, under any circumstances, pay apartheid guy for his Twitter blue service. Yet this morning, the checkmark is back and the hover-over claims I've subscribed. BS. I don't even tweet anymore yet here we are. pic.twitter.com/cd52B6r5XF
— Emo Desperado (@JoyAnnReid) April 23, 2023
Here’s Joy Reid spending 5 tweets to say she’s not paying, never will, and doesn’t even tweet anymore. LOL!
Perhaps the time-travelling homophobic hackers put your blue check back, Joy?
The struggle is real 🤪
Wuz you hacked again? 🤡 pic.twitter.com/mE3VQGt9b0
— Hootyman (@TheHootyman) April 23, 2023
Never gets old.
"I don't even tweet anymore" You have tweeted or retweeted something everyday this month…
— Irving Washington (@WashingtonIrv_) April 23, 2023
Hackers, we tell you!
For the curious, I'm not subscribed to Twitter Blue. I haven't given anyone my phone number. What a sad, muddled place this has become. pic.twitter.com/Ju125xyoUx
— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) April 23, 2023
The celebrities don’t want to be left out of the NPC chorus of virtue signaling.
I love you Neil and some of your tweets like this are the worst takes.
— Randy Treibel (Taylor’s Version) (@RandyTreibel) April 23, 2023
Tough love. We like it!
Despite the implication when you click the blue badge that has mysteriously re-appeared beside my name, I am not paying for the "honour".
— Ian McKellen (@IanMcKellen) April 23, 2023
We’re really sorry the evil platform that allows you to speak to 4 million fans stuck some blue pixels next to your name, Ian.
— John Paul Hernandez (@hellojohnpaul) April 23, 2023
LOLOLOL!
Ian McKellen to $8 trying to leave his pocket:
Apparently blue checks have been restored to people with over a million followers (how did that ever happen to me? I'm just a former federal prosecutor). I wanted to make sure y'all know I haven't paid for it or verified a phone number, even though it says I have.
— Joyce Alene (@JoyceWhiteVance) April 23, 2023
They need to let you all know they didn’t pay. It’s actually become a morality play with them.
This is so friggin’ wild.
— Ramon E. Santaana M. (@RamonSantaana) April 23, 2023
The memes coming out of this entire episode are glorious.
Blue check got mysteriously returned all by itself, but I got rid of it by adding 🇺🇦 and ⚖️ to my name — out of solidarity with those who got stripped of their blue checkmarks and refused to pay to get them reinstated. Take that, Elon!
— Laurence Tribe 🇺🇦 ⚖️ (@tribelaw) April 23, 2023
‘Take that, Elon!’ he tweeted. LOL!
— John Simpson (@jsimpsonDC) April 23, 2023
Haha!
i have no clue how this happened, i absolutely did not buy twitter blue pic.twitter.com/rYzE2ATfla
— hasanabi (@hasanthehun) April 22, 2023
‘Please don’t disown me! I’m one of the good ones!’
Hey Twitter lawyers. The blue check mark @elonmusk is now assigning certain celebrities says that they “are subscribed” to Twitter Blue and their phone number has been verified. If one of those is not true, does that violate FTC or other rules/regulations? https://t.co/6lPLtM1vna
— David Corn (@DavidCornDC) April 23, 2023
The really crazy ones are now trying to figure out if they can prosecute Elon Musk.
Wouldn’t it be simpler to just to delete your account, or maybe start your own social media platform?
This past week my Twitter "Blue Check" disappeared for a few days, and then reappeared today.
The Universe brims with mysteries. pic.twitter.com/EKFThp4DuX
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) April 23, 2023
In a world full of unhinged narcissists, it’s somehow comforting to know Neil deGrasse Tyson is out there just being his clueless self.
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