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WaPo belched out a story on Elon Musk and Diet Coke that has Twitter users popping off

The Washington Post shined the bright light of hard-hitting journalism on Elon Musk’s Diet Coke habit, ensuring that democracy won’t diet in darkness.

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The article argues that there is a Diet Coke-addicted cult who can’t quit the beverage, of which Musk is a member.

To us, it looks more like someone desperately wanted to say ‘bad people drink lots of Diet Coke’ and then created the rest of the story as an excuse to say it.

In 2018, the New Yorker stuck a fork in the Diet Coke phenomenon, citing as evidence its unsavory acolytes, including former president Donald Trump and Harvey Weinstein. It is, the magazine declared, ‘the elixir of soft-bodied plutocrats desperate to shed their shady pasts and, possibly, a few pounds.’

You know who else probably had a bedside table? It rhymes with Shmitler. We’re just saying.

We have a clairvoyant among us, folks!

To be fair, this piece was authored by a WaPo food reporter, but Twitter users couldn’t help but notice the sad state of modern journalism.

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Others were angry that WaPo wasn’t focused on Musk’s fake guns or ‘fascism’. We won’t quote those folks. They’re boring.

Way to journalism, WaPo. You done good.

When you have your food reporters taking shots at Elon Musk, it’s pretty clear your entire outlet is a joke.

Reduced from saving democracy to counting open Diet Coke cans on Elon Musk’s nightstand. How the mighty have fallen.

LOL! That’s good.

Okay, who uses their Sweet Baby Ray’s as a bookend? That’s just messed up.

You know who else drank water?

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Boom! HAHA!

There was a moment there when we thought all was lost.

The cult is real!

We have to award them points for entertainment value.

We’re imagining Bezos grabbing the phone: ‘Get me the food reporter! We’re going with the Diet Coke story!’

Maybe if the Chinese civilians started binging on Diet Coke the media would take notice.

We probably all made that exact face.

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It’s predictable. Insane is going to be when Alyssa Milano denounces Diet Coke and starts drinking Fanta.

The slight creak of leather breaks the silence as he approaches the bar. His knuckle-tattooed fist pounds the surface. ‘Diet Coke. On the rocks. Make it a double.’

Hey, we got some laughs. They at least deserve a Diet Coke.

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