The Washington Post shined the bright light of hard-hitting journalism on Elon Musk’s Diet Coke habit, ensuring that democracy won’t diet in darkness.
The article argues that there is a Diet Coke-addicted cult who can’t quit the beverage, of which Musk is a member.
To us, it looks more like someone desperately wanted to say ‘bad people drink lots of Diet Coke’ and then created the rest of the story as an excuse to say it.
In 2018, the New Yorker stuck a fork in the Diet Coke phenomenon, citing as evidence its unsavory acolytes, including former president Donald Trump and Harvey Weinstein. It is, the magazine declared, ‘the elixir of soft-bodied plutocrats desperate to shed their shady pasts and, possibly, a few pounds.’
Twitter owner Elon Musk shared a photo of his bedside table littered with cans of Diet Coke, reminding us of the power the beverage has. https://t.co/p7zL5TLONT
— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) November 29, 2022
You know who else probably had a bedside table? It rhymes with Shmitler. We’re just saying.
I’m ready for all the big brain think pieces on why Elon and Trump are the same caliber of evil because they both love Diet Coke. https://t.co/0DWYyUMs2w
— Kate Hyde (@KateHydeNY) November 28, 2022
We have a clairvoyant among us, folks!
Are you kidding me, @washingtonpost? https://t.co/1uFjWlUZ5R pic.twitter.com/wY140SKCrq
— Kate Hyde (@KateHydeNY) November 29, 2022
To be fair, this piece was authored by a WaPo food reporter, but Twitter users couldn’t help but notice the sad state of modern journalism.
Others were angry that WaPo wasn’t focused on Musk’s fake guns or ‘fascism’. We won’t quote those folks. They’re boring.
— Rita Panahi (@RitaPanahi) November 29, 2022
Way to journalism, WaPo. You done good.
I'm just here for the ratio, you shameless state propagandists.
— Ordy Packard's Amish Turducken Farm (@YoderSecreto) November 29, 2022
When you have your food reporters taking shots at Elon Musk, it’s pretty clear your entire outlet is a joke.
I’m so sorry your life has come to this.
— 🫃🏼🇺🇦💉Hollaria Briden, Esq. (@HollyBriden) November 29, 2022
Reduced from saving democracy to counting open Diet Coke cans on Elon Musk’s nightstand. How the mighty have fallen.
Reported for unlabeled parody account
— Kevin Dalton (@KevinForBOS) November 29, 2022
LOL! That’s good.
Oh my gosh! First, Zuck and a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray’s, now Elon has Diet Coke?
This is madness! pic.twitter.com/PVXVOEpQNg— Kelly S (@Kimber9mmUC) November 29, 2022
Okay, who uses their Sweet Baby Ray’s as a bookend? That’s just messed up.
Next WaPo piece will explore The Hardcore Cult Who Drink Water, Every Day.
— John Kartch (@johnkartch) November 29, 2022
You know who else drank water?
Hunter Biden’s bedside table just had a bunch of Coke on it
— Mc5cent (@baldjoe) November 29, 2022
Boom! HAHA!
Saved democracy again today, WP? That was a close one.
— Daniel Gwynn (@dtgwynn) November 29, 2022
There was a moment there when we thought all was lost.
I’d like to announce my candidacy for Guru of the Cult of Diet Coke https://t.co/KdeEhNOWYw
— Alex F. Baldwin (@VerumVulnero1) November 29, 2022
The cult is real!
Sweet merciful crap, LOL.
The media has gone completely round the bend. Toys in the attic. Over the rainbow. Bars in the window.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 https://t.co/JZdBUMqgOc— Ultra MAF Calvin 🇺🇸🐶🏒 🎶 (@shoveitjack) November 29, 2022
We have to award them points for entertainment value.
Your boss is still really mad about coming in second in the space race, isn't he? https://t.co/LlXVikDfkp
— Ordy Packard's Amish Turducken Farm (@YoderSecreto) November 29, 2022
We’re imagining Bezos grabbing the phone: ‘Get me the food reporter! We’re going with the Diet Coke story!’
Chinese civilians: “HELP US!”
WaPo: https://t.co/eHLp2tQQ8M
— Montana Department of Organic Flammability (@MontanaDOOF) November 29, 2022
Maybe if the Chinese civilians started binging on Diet Coke the media would take notice.
https://t.co/LxT7vsVddN pic.twitter.com/lOLugx3AMe
— Andrea Caruso (@AndreaNRuth) November 29, 2022
We probably all made that exact face.
@elonmusk tweets a photo of his bedside with empty cans of caffeine free diet coke, so naturally the Washington Post tees up a piece on how only bad people drink diet Coke. This is just insane. https://t.co/zF6OkP30uu
— Mark Hemingway (@Heminator) November 29, 2022
It’s predictable. Insane is going to be when Alyssa Milano denounces Diet Coke and starts drinking Fanta.
If there's one thing a Diet Coke is known for, it's being hardcore. https://t.co/DNIRUvWOG6
— Eric Spencer (@JustEric) November 29, 2022
The slight creak of leather breaks the silence as he approaches the bar. His knuckle-tattooed fist pounds the surface. ‘Diet Coke. On the rocks. Make it a double.’
Another Pulitzer Prize article from @washingtonpost 😂😂😂😂😂 https://t.co/HEpfb2I3V7
— Jeff Pollock (@freddyandfrieda) November 29, 2022
Hey, we got some laughs. They at least deserve a Diet Coke.
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