Nope, it wasn't. We thought it might be, and we even kind of hoped it was, but it wasn't. Recent action by the British Royal Navy was not a Monty Python skit. Although the story may have the folks of Monty Python wishing they had thought of it first.
The Royal Navy went full-on code red to chase down a baleen whale that had gone full-on code brown.
The incident has been dubbed 'The Hunt for Red Fart-ober.'
UK navy mistook farting whale for phantom Russians trying to track their nuclear subs: report https://t.co/3VqaGoeXBl pic.twitter.com/b9R1ANbsIl
— New York Post (@nypost) January 26, 2025
Underwater sensors detected two mysterious noises off the coast of Scotland, home to a Navy submarine base. Officials were unable to identify the source of the sound, but they thought something about the situation didn't pass the smell test and, fearing the possibility of a drone Russian spy sub, launched an investigation.
The UK’s Royal Navy launched a frantic search for phantom Russians off the coast after picking up two mysterious sounds in the ocean — only to conclude that the noises came from a gassy whale, an official told The Sun.
Naval officials feared one of Russian President Vladimir Putin’s drone subs had dropped a listening device onto the ocean floor between two islands in Scotland and let rip on an investigation.
The two toots were detected about 100 miles from where the UK’s doomsday subs are based.
“We have been analyzing the sounds and now believe it was a marine mammal. A whale,” the official told the British newspaper.
The official was said to have kept a stiff upper lip when speaking of the flatulent faux paw, stating they take such incidents seriously.
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The sound, first described by analysts as a man-made noise, had never before been picked up on the sensors — leading the navy to confuse Das Boof for Das Boot, according to the report.
It also sparked fears that Russia’s deep-sea research unit, known as GUGI, was trying to record acoustic signatures of the British subs to make them easier to track.
The locations of the Royal Navy’s Astute-class attack subs and Vanguard-class ballistic missile submarines are among the UK’s most closely guarded military secrets. They are designed to move through the sea with nary a squeak.
While it was determined the flatulence was the cause of the false alarm, officials said they take all threats seriously.
Russian President Vladimir Putin could not be reached for comment but is rumored to have said of the incident, 'He who smelt it dealt it,' while pointing in the general direction of England.
The takeaway from this is that Russia has equipped their sensor drones with the technology to imitate a farting whale. 😂
— dauntlesslogic (@dauntlesslogic) January 27, 2025
It wouldn't be the first time the Russians have been accused of having spy whales.
It was also not the first time whales have set off alarms. The gassy situation comes months after a famed Russian beluga whale believed to be a spy was found dead off the coast of Norway. The white Beluga whale named “Hvaldimir” was first discovered near the Russian/Norwegian maritime border in 2019 wearing a Russian camera harness.
Hvaldimir’s harness — coupled with his friendly demeanor — prompted speculation that he may have escaped after being forcibly enlisted to conduct intelligence-gathering operations for Russia, which has been known to utilize aquatic mammals for espionage.
Could the oversized pooting porpoise be connected to the Russian spy whale? There has been much speculation.
Are they sure it wasn’t this guy scuba diving? pic.twitter.com/q7SLvQCifj
— Jimmy crack corn 🇺🇸 (@JimCorn1776) January 26, 2025
Anything is possible. Eric has certainly set off some sensors in his time. Despite the intense search, the wind-breaking whale was never located, and the British Navy has been ordered to stand down. What was thought to be Russian spy subs turned out to be a whale that ate too much krill.
Sure does smell fishy.
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