The New York Times “ethicist columnist” is taking on what is apparently quite a dilemma for anybody looking for an excuse to stop visiting certain loved ones — or maybe “former loved ones” might be a better way to put it:
My 94-year-old grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I make a point of visiting her every month or two. Am I obligated to continue to visit my grandmother even after she ceases to remember me? https://t.co/iL62siNZFr
— The New York Times (@nytimes) April 15, 2023
The fact that the question even had to be asked is quite telling.
This is…vile.
But it’s absolutely an extension of the abortion ideology: grandma is now inconveniencing me, therefore I will cease treating her like a human being. https://t.co/1TMCoPFMMj
— Amy Curtis (@RantyAmyCurtis) April 15, 2023
The Times ethics columnist is THIS close to “is it OK to smother grandma with a pillow because she doesn’t remember who I am?”
It’s really disgusting question. Of course you are.
— Nick (@nicksologist) April 15, 2023
The fact that NYT even published an article exploring the idea of whether to visit an unwell family member is appalling.
"My Grandmother Has Alzheimer’s. Do I Need to Keep Visiting Her?"https://t.co/uLtcOM0jY7
— Jake (@jborg_arts) April 12, 2023
Leftist keep telling you they are anti human, believe them. https://t.co/LGnLo9mw6x
— Gregg, CPO @ SMC (@realgreggd) April 15, 2023
This is Libs in a nutshell https://t.co/Ku9TricmC6
— Comfortably Smug (@ComfortablySmug) April 15, 2023
It’s not just about your grandparent not being able to remember you, and the element of selfishness in the question is something else.
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"Obligated" is an interesting word choice here. How about: You visit because it's the right thing to do, because she'll know what love feels like long after she forgets your name. And because one day you'll want your grandkids to visit you.
— Anita Creamer (@AnitaCreamer) April 15, 2023
She may not know who you are but you know who she is and that is the only thing that matters https://t.co/tQszQNvYiv
— debra LT (@dtansey97) April 15, 2023
As for the actual suggestion, the answer to the question should just be “yes” but this is the NY Times so naturally it’s not that simple:
There’s a reason that Alzheimer’s disease is known as “the long goodbye”; the condition means that we lose more and more of a loved one day by day. And your tribute to your grandmother makes it clear how difficult all this has been. I had a grandmother who figured large in my life, too, and her death, when I was 24, was my first profound experience of grief.
But when you think about a future when your grandmother’s deterioration has progressed even further, you should bear in mind that it won’t arrive at any clear date. For a while, she might still take pleasure in your company, whether or not she retains a memory of it. In time, though, this level of awareness may fade as well. Whatever is noble about visiting people in those circumstances, it isn’t that you’re truly helping them. Perhaps it’s akin to tending a grave, something you do in honor of a past you shared. Yet other considerations can matter more. If your grandmother is anything like mine, your well-being will have been a priority of hers. This includes your emotional well-being; someone who needs to look after young children, certainly, must also look after herself.
So is that a yes, or a no?
Omg it’s real https://t.co/l1B8z8UEtK
I misread at first & this person was saying it was a @TheVertlartnic headline. But it actually is a New York Times article. Not @nyendtimes; the actual @nytimes published this.
Ugly to even see this Q being posed tbh. What have we become? https://t.co/7uFRq8Qau9
— Jawn Quincy Adams (@jawnquincyadams) April 14, 2023
Unreal.
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