The Biden administration is so convinced (or wants us to be) that “climate change” is an existential threat that they’re going to fund, with your tax dollars, carbon dioxide sucking machines. No, seriously:

Totally qualified Energy Secretary Granholm, having solved all other problems in the energy sector, will oversee the project:

The federal government is investing in machines that suck giant amounts of carbon dioxide out of the air in the hopes of reducing damage from climate change.

The Department of Energy said Thursday it will release $3.5 billion to groups developing direct air capture and other technologies that remove carbon dioxide, which when released into the atmosphere causes global warming.
[…]
“This past month we saw the highest levels of CO2 emissions in the atmosphere in history, underscoring the fact that our efforts to tackle climate change will be inconsequential if we don’t act now to manage the greenhouse gas emissions that are currently putting public health and our environment at risk,” said Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm in a statement.

There’s a different “solution”:

LOL. No kidding.

The sham couldn’t be more obvious:

You can’t make this stuff up. Unfortunately the Biden administration can.

Hopefully they don’t dial all these machines up to eleven and end up killing trees, but considering this administration’s disastrous track record on everything else, that wouldn’t be surprising.

Can these machines be attached to the tails of private jets owned by wealthy climate change alarmist hypocrites?

Why not just plant some more trees? The answer is obvious:

Naturally there will be very little accounting for how the money is actually spent.

The Biden administration has helped erase the line between satire and reality.