Bill de Blasio Is Marching to 'Retire Big Oil'... Well, Virtually Marching to 'Retire Big Oil'

If there's one thing that liberals love it's being able to signal how virtuous and 'on the right side of history' they are in ostentatious style. The problem with virtue signaling though is that it's often so darned time consuming. You've got to get up, get dressed, drive (or be driven) to some demonstration somewhere... who has time for that. Sure you could just cut a check but that doesn't have the same impact as getting your picture taken with your hands glued to the counter at Starbucks or something; getting your mug into the news cycle to show that you're 'down with the fight' is always important for virtue signaling street-cred.

Well do we have good news for todays busy liberal activist on the go, because apparently we're entering into the golden age of 'virtual marches'!

Wall Street is forcing Americans to invest their life savings to prop up Big Oil. I'm virtually marching to tell them we want a climate-friendly option in every 401(k). Want to march side by side with me in the same photo? Just choose "donate" in the app. #RetireBigOil pic.twitter.com/inuokVXHUS
— Bill de Blasio (@BilldeBlasio) February 6, 2024

That's right, now you can march to save the environment or whatever without ever taking your slippers off! Isn't that great!

This is a particularly useful development for Bill de Blasio here, who you may recall is a man who really enjoys his beauty sleep and isn't a fan of having to rush his gym time, so being able to simply upload a photo of himself to some AI service and get painted into a vibrant and active march with other enthusiastic marchers at his side and... spaceships flying overhead is we're sure a godsend.

Big Oil when they see your "virtual march." pic.twitter.com/0ksxsH53ja
— And Don't Call Me Shirley. (@Meme_Behavior) February 6, 2024

I’m virtually not marching, and virtually not donating. But you are getting an actual middle finger in addition to this virtual one. 🖕
— Kent Moore (@kentrmoore) February 6, 2024

I'm virtually sitting in a Givenchy evening gown in Studio 54 with Halston and Liz Taylor sitting next to me. Want to sit with me in your own Givenchy evening gown while we all do virtual blow and lose our minds to Donna Summer? C A S H A P P I N B I O https://t.co/JGGBAnWWb4
— Jay Collinwood (@collinwood_j) February 6, 2024

Sorry Bill I’m busy virtually driving unnecessary loops around town in support of Big Oil https://t.co/QqQusPLNLm
— Jonofarcadia 🦬 (@jonofarcadia) February 6, 2024

And here I thought regular old marching was the least one could do https://t.co/7oItWzY3ut
— Aelfred The Great (@aelfred_D) February 6, 2024

There's always less you can do while demanding to be recognized for doing something.

While this is all very silly it's hard to argue that it isn't preferrable to liberals burning down city blocks or shutting down traffic on the Long Island Expressway or something, so on balance we shouldn't be laughing at this. If they want to paint little pictures of themselves standing in futuristic cityscapes while they sit at their kitchen table in their underwear or something that sounds great, since it keeps these folks out of the rest of our hair. We'll go to our jobs and hang out with our families, they can do whatever this is to feel special about themselves. Everybody's happy!

We should make this happen, seriously.

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